Best posts made by mietze

It may also help to realize that just because the people logged in are not readily accessible or out in public, doesn't mean that they aren't contributing to the game's activity. Are some people just sitting around? Sure, probably most (though people may be doing that in public as well). Are some waiting to connect with someone OOC so they can arrange deets of events, meetups, prps, ect? Yes. Esp. if they do not have large chunks of time during the day, and so need to coordinate (or even extreme slow play) during that time so they are better set up for the more active/present time that they do have. In that respect, they may be contributing "more" to the game and activity for others than someone who just hangs around in public all the time and pounces on BaRP but never runs anything for anyone or a group of folks, depending on your perspective.

People are not going to go out in public to extreme slow RP (and that's going to look like idling too) that's disrespectful to people who might wander in and people get angry about when people don't pose fast enough for their tastes as well.

I think I personally have a reaction to compulsive WHO and +where checkers because those tools have been used to harass me/track my activity by people in the past, and so a need to constantly check those things and judge people by them tends to trigger a red flag in me. I can kind of understand wanting that as a metric to judge whether or not a game is worth your time, if it is supremely important to you to have a certain percentage of unidle people or public people. I'm just not sure that even that is useful though, given how people are often very unidle just chatting about the weather and their health issues on channel while never darkening the door of a public scene, and planners may be idle for long times as they're writing up stuff/researching/otherwise actively working towards a contribution to the game.

Lost one of my students today (due to withdrawal, not like death), one that we've poured so much love and support into. It's not that I disrespect the parents' decision, but we didn't find out until right after they got picked up and I've been having some crying that I won't get to say goodbye/spend some more time with them like they could stay to the end of the week or whatever. And I worry, quite a bit. But mostly i'm going to really miss this complex, delightful, outrageous, funny, adorable little kiddo.

I'm relieved (ngl) I will no longer have to be on constant alert for needing to body block attacks on others and the like, or destruction of property and so we are less top loaded with kids that were ejected from other classrooms. But damn I'm going to miss this child and I wish I could have hugged them one last time and now I'm having a cry again. It'll be okay, just it's unexpected. it's been a hard day.

I am unfamiliar with battletech but I will say that cyberpunkred conversion in ares has gone more smoothly than anticipated. Perfect no but it has been far less frustrating than previous attempts at fading suns.

I would think battletech might be easier since there isn't magic or netrunning, which has been the most difficult part of figuring out for ares (the netrunning) as far as being able to have people in the same +combat being able to have some do meat world combat and others do ice/net combat (in RED you have overlays, so its not someone jacked in/helpless unconscious while they're in the net).

Day to day I do not wear makeup. Since my oldest was for a very long time very much a tomboy and all the rest of my children are male I honestly did not really expect to deal with it much--but since she has really started getting into it it's been a fun bonding experience. It's another excuse to sit down with my teen for an activity that she is very much in control over (since I don't know crap about it, she's the one teaching me or making me over so I'm not too embarassing and no, she doesn't say that to me, I like to tease her about it though), doing something, talking or not depending on her mood or indirectly chatting about what's going on (she also likes to come down to my practice and get a one hour massage every other week too, which is similar in that she tells me what she wants, she decides what if any aromatherapy, she picks the music, ect.).

So I think I understand at least the appeal now when I see her friends and her shopping for makeup/trying new things and sending silly snapchat or whatever pics to each other, ect. I am not sure if that's how ALL women get into makeup. Maybe I just didn't because I'm an only child who had pretty much all male friends until I was an adult and out of college!

I have seen some antagonists done well, but most of the time they're just not great for the environment through no fault of their own.

I especially think it sets up real toxicity when there is absentee/hands off staff who aren't there to intervene when people cross boundaries (especially protagonist pcs).

So honestly I'm at the mush management point in my life where any game I set up/run will be pve. Will it lose me players yes but if they need pvp to engage or feel meaningful we aren't going to be right for each other anyway.

I dont mind playing on pvp games, but I don't initiate that stuff anymore. I like themes of loss/betrayal/ect but find it more interesting when its with a pc that isn't purposefully made to be an antagonist.

I'm not sure why people have said that older students don't do well in college. Most of the time the opposite is true. The older students tend to be the curve wreckers, because mommy/daddy aren't paying their bills, they tend to have some more life experience, know a little more about what they want to be doing/what is realistic for them at 30 than they did when they were 17, ect.

There are exceptions. When I went back to school I did meet some "nontraditional" students who were bombing out, but frankly, the reason why they hadn't been to school was because they were struggling with addiction/major mental health issues and there was still a struggle.

I started college at 15. It ended up being a good thing because I had a rather radical shift in major, so I still graduated with my dual major BS at 20, so just a little late. I did have jobs in my field (social services) but I got on the mommy track early, by 25, and spent my latter 20s and most of my 30s being a "stay at home" mom. Once 1-3 were launched into upper elementary/middle school grades, I decided that I'd really kind of like to be doing something with my life other than volunteering and hanging out with kids. (not that it isn't important and I did't like it, I did.) So I went back to school for massage, since I'd always been interested in it. (I was glad I had an excellent background in A&P and other biological science--massage school, at least in my state, DOES have plenty of the woo woo frou frou shit, but these days it's pretty medical oriented, and LMPs are considered part of medical care provider network here, so it's also deceptively academic than the stereotype). I was the 4th oldest in my class group, the youngest was 18, the oldest 57. And there were 4 people who were in their mid to late 30s, like me. So I got my trade certificate (the college awarded me the AA because they counted my other degree as eliminating the need for the core curriculum. I started my own business (which I still have), but promptly got knocked up by surprise. I worked my ass off until I was 9 months pregnant to be able to take significant time off. Still working to build up my clientele again.

And I am thinking of also going back to school for an esthetician's cert/license (which is hilarious, for anyone who knows me RL, I am so NOT the type of person who goes to cosmetology school) so that I can get further training in skincare since I've already got a nice setup for it in my office. That will have to wait though, since with 4 kids getting ready to launch into college in less than 5 years, I cannot justify the expense and I don't have time to jump through the paperwork for scholarships presently. Or I might go back for my MSW, because my volunteer interests through the years have maintained connections with the social service community and I dearly love it. Because of the expense, though, I don't think going for the MSW is really going to be realistic until I hit my mid-40s. However, I'm confident that I will whip the asses of the younger students.

Not to be all Old Lady at you, but at 25 it may not feel like your life is still way open and before you, but it probably is. I'm not even sure than 25 consitutes a "non-traditional" (meaning old) student these days, unless you are going to a 4 year state institution. But even in the 90s at my alma mater (VA Tech) there were always people a couple of years older than the "normal" immediately post-high school people--because they took a year off to travel, because they were in a co-op program (so they were interning every other semester), ect. I would imagine it's even more common now. I went back to school at a community college/technology institute so it's probably no surprise that ratio of "typical aged" vs elder students was closer to 50/50 if not tipped in the older people's favor.

I like Faraday's list the best.

But if I really think about it when I think MU for me anyway the root is text based. Not video or picture or visual in the actually seeing it vs mind's eye thing.

Between holidays, illness (family), visitors, illness (mine), and other RL stuff my sleep schedule and sense of time is totally fucked up (and probably will be for a bit since I have that nasty upper respiratory plague that seems to be going around everywhere, and is triggering my airways like whoa. I am at my most awake and productive between 2-4 AM. My god I might break out the woo woo stuff and try melatonin or something like that because I am desperate to feel like I'm on a human schedule again.

If the problem to solve is getting shy players to take initiative and people feeling welcome to participate in mixed scenes then honestly I don't think that is ever solvable by system or mechanics.

That is a game culture thing.

You can nerf everyone into oblivion, remove whole systems from play and you will still have players who have anxiety about jumping in because it is not about sheets but initiating out joining play. You will also always have players who will refuse to participate in anything they're not "good" at and define being good as having a high probability of success. There isn't anything wrong with that as a playstyle but in that case nothing will really satisfy except for free-form play with no risk, so if they need that to feel comfortable and welcome then honestly they'll need to find a game that allows full choice rather than systems that allow for failure/risk.

And again, those games can be fun too esp when there's a culture of sharing the limelight and interest in developing other people's stories.

The issues tend to happen when there are mixed playstyles/expectations. People who enjoy risk of failure/less control over degree of success and needing to adjust play accordingly are going to see a system as a means to help them enjoy that kind of informing of play. If others see it more as a guideline to inform their play in general but not limiting it to whats on their sheet, thats going to clash.

And even then you have differing personality types (such as the all or nothing folks, if they are you maxed out or high statted for a thing they don't feel comfortable even trying, or someone moving from a high xp/power game to a low or moderate one now feeling inadequate).

But I think it is almost never the system but game culture. And you must cultivate the culture too, the system won't build it for you. Without guidance, you'll still have people not on the same page but hundreds of them.

I used to hate all reboots/remakes/reimaginings period. But the Star Trek movies and Mad Max have turned it around for me. I'm willing to give them a try. The team on the new one looks pretty ok, so. I think the timing may be a bit unfortunate for some people though.

Yes I think most of us have "a friend" who is an amazing outlier. The mush silliness is that you can't spit without hitting one!

So on Eldritch my PC's sister and friend were both having some problems with this vampire. It was really fun coming from a more super srs bsns vampire place to be totally dumb about vampires.

All her knowledge came from Twilight, and popular movies. I believe the line of questions started with "oh, is he hot?" And then "will regular garlic work or can you use the canned stuff in the store? Can you hit them with it or if you eat it can you like breath on them and repel them?" She stole holy water "out of that fountain thing in the church" and carried it in squeezy toiletry bottles. When someone finally said they didn't think that was how it worked, she just shook her head and was like "don't believe everything you read on the Internet, man." maybe I annoyed the shit out of everyone but I love playing and being around the pcs that know nothing.

When she finally met her first vampire, he was a fastidious dresser with gloves and she was disappointed he was a snob (not ooc, but IC) and didn't sparkle.

I think one of the important things to be very intentional about is what you, as staff/gamerunner(s) are hoping to get out of "balancing".

Are you wanting to balance things so that you have minimal intervention responsibilities (you want to expect that players will largely create their own fun without much staff supported and enforced structure)?

Are you wanting have a more well rounded set of characters (and so need to make less flashy "types" appealing to play so that you don't have an all Aes Sedai and Their Warders game?

It's hard to know how to balance things when one doesn't know the real honest intent behind it. There's no right or wrong answer to that, but I think figuring that out and then structuring from there is more likely to be successful.

Man, the longer I am a parent the less tolerance I have for shitty parenting that sets up innocent children to be entitled, socially blind asshats.

I think I've hit on where the line for pay makes me uncomfortable.

While a thing like a tip jar after the fact (as appreciation) doesn't trigger the squick for me personally, prepaying/contracting for services just isn't what I would want to get involved with as a ST. Maybe if I could summon inspiration on demand I would feel differently but I wouldn't want it hanging over my head esp if I didn't know the other person and how they react to delayed gratification when money changes hands. I've noticed this is a common worry (I assume with cause!) because I have paid for many commissions over the years and have had to explicitly tell the artist/crafting person many times to please not apologize for delays, I understand the process takes time and they've all been people who have day jobs too. Some have sounded very distressed and I get it because I think feeling like you owe someone something is anxiety producing for me! Id much rather have someone shower with me with gifts/chocolate/$$$ after I've done the thing they liked.

And then there's less risk of having to deal with someone you thought was okay but surprises you by turning into someone who feels like they own you and you must account for all of your time to them until they get what they're owed. We have enough of thise folks even on standard volunteer mushes.

You didn't say that @Ganymede .

I'm referring to @Derp's

"At the end of the day, as shitty as this may sound, if you are in a group that you feel deserves equal attention and recognition? The way you get that is by getting the people in the majority (or, you know, the ones with the proverbial boot on your neck, or whatever) on your side, so that they can help to enact the changes you wish to see. Not by pissing them off and asserting you don't need them to understand, or agree. Because that will get you a kneejerk response that is basically the opposite of the goal you are seeking."

@faraday i think the two are getting conflated (i am here to rp specifically with my small peep circle/if you are having trouble integrating into a game obviously you suck or are lazy or don't know how to mush). I think they are separate issues for the most part though of course they can overlap back and forth.

Whether that is the small group getting ticked bc they're not being included in larger meta stuff or not reached out to (bc they don't respond usually) or someone has lost the small group they were part of and is having trouble transitioning or integrating esp if there us resentment to that group or the wider game culture isn't as friendly as the friends group they started with, or any other situation.

It can be complicated im sure we have all seen it.

I shower after workouts always and once a day, usually, no matter what. Showering multiple times a day every day seems like it would strip your skin depending on the soap you used.

Of course I hit the sauna a lot and go for full sadistic Korean auntie scrub down every 6 weeks. I think both just kind of make you feel cleaner (and certainly give you fantastic skin) from the inside out.

I interned in public health and did a semester volunteering at the necropsy lab at the vet school while getting my bachelors degree. I think between that and children and gamer teens I'm immune to most human smells. Ironically I can deal with/adjust to bo and ass/old diseased fish stick smell or cat piss/anal glands problem a lot more than people (be they college kids on rush week or old southern ladies with their sense of smell not being what it used to) dousing themselves in perfume/cologne. There's something in that that gives me insta-migraine and nausea, esp if doesn't work with their body chemistry or they're using it to cover up body odor.

Pretty much this reminds me why I will never serve on any type of hospitality commitee like ever fucking again in my life.

First real weird as in scaring me potential client contact. There seemed to be something off about the appointment request so I declined it. Then I got a message from one of my suite mates that there was a guy that came in asking about me (we are all appointment only) who also set off her red flag. But hadn't heard anything more until another appt request tonight where he disclosed he was this guy I met at a summer camp when I was 12 and he was 17, and he looked me up every few years and finally found me and wondered if I was that person (I am). My profession means I work a lot if evenings and weekends alone.

I think a lot of women understand why I feel a little sick. And if you're ever tempted to see an "old flame" who was the "most beautiful girl I'd ever met" and is the most wonderful memory all these years...sometimes it's kind of scary when you say that after all those other actions.

And as a cherry on top a player whose a hot mess of boundary violations and who made my life hell on a game for months and spread the toxin elsewhere is once more part of something that looks like us going to be pretty ICly/oocly antagonistic at a place I like.

I have the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach.