Posts made by mietze

It was totally baffling. But metaposing (except for the aforementioned poking fun at one's own PC without powerposing/expectation of others' reactions) is not that common/accepted practice in my circles generally, but ages ago on different mushes I know there were places where it is very common/accepted practice. So wasn't sure if this was a common thing or not.

But yeah, I was told that I should know not to have my PC react this way or that way, because they made it clear in their metapose the last scene or a few before that their PC wouldn't like it, and so I was not being a good RP partner and I should expect that I'd be negatively reacted to because I knowingly was so thoughtless as to ignore how their PC's inner workings worked. I wasn't the only person subject to this.

Though I don't know. I have run into players who definitely see themselves less as collaborators in the joint story (the scene) and more as primary authors who are giving you the privilege of interacting with their story in the scene. Maybe that's what this was more about than me ignoring psychic (in the sense of spilling info OOC that I had no way to know ICly) metaposes in favor of reacting to their posed actions.

Is it common amongst metaposers that they assume that any info they share with you in their ooc metapose (like reason why they're acting a certain way) should be acted upon with full weight by your PC ICly?

In my previous experience, metaposing used in a not-fun way was a way for someone to be a real shit to someone else while risking no consequences because they didn't give the other PC anything really to react to IC. But fairly recently I had a player become absolutely furious with me and a few others because we reacted to the PC's actions rather than the (metaposed) thoughts and backstory that ICly we had no way of knowing, that this was some kind of clue that we were very wrong to not pick up on and therefore react in a way that was satisfactory to the metaposer.

I hate bitchy/snarky metaposing with a passion anyway (I do think humorous or open ended stuff can be great fun and I often enjoy OOCly getting a window into a PC's thoughts) but this was the first time I'd ever had someone get angry that despite the fact that they both posed being totally non-reactive/rude/distant/ect as well as OOC details about the character's reasons behind it that my PC had no way of knowing (or frankly that were...not the interpretation I personally would have taken, OOCly), that my PC didn't suddenly know about their inner workings and thus treat them as if they hadn't been rude/distant/ect.

Appearance I'm sure is a factor in some areas, not so much mine, depending on where you are. But...it's tiresome. It's been interesting having been one of the younger moms in my circle of acquaintences for awhile, especially when considering # of kids, and now being one of the older people. I've never had a lot of issues finding some people to hang with, but...considering how most of my current friends-who-are-also-parents-RL are parenting all tweens/teens/adults I figured I'd try to expand a bit. I just frankly forgot how much people care about stuff like that.

Worst thing about re-entering the world of having a baby/toddler after a decades long absence: having to deal with the mommy wars again.

No, whether or not you are a 'full time mom' (God that term disgusts me) or you are employed doesn't matter for shit for how happy/well adjusted/smart your kids are.

Once you are past the preschool years, nobody gives a shit if you sleep trained your child, gave the m&ms to potty train them, how long or if you breastfed, ect. They just don't. Unless you cloister or helicopter your tweens to death, once they get to that stage they'll have friends who were raised differently than you raised them in the early years, and imagine this: they can all be wonderful, awesome children that you might come to care for very much and enjoy their parents too even if like 6 years previously you would have looked down on them for eschewing the stroller for a sling/ZOMG giving their children snacks with HFCS/Spanking/Not-Spanking.

Once you're out of that stage, nobody asks, nobody gives a shit. It doesn't matter, no matter how many people making a million bucks over getting you to disdain everyone else tell you different. It just doesn't. Unless you're a tool.

If you work, you're awesome. If you trade in employment to stay home and it's what you want to do/need to do, that's awesome too. You really don't need to rip on the other side to justify where you are.

This message prompted by being told by one of social moms groups I used to belong to when my older 3 were young that really it's for "people who have chosen to stay home and raise their children" when I was asked what I did before kids on the app and I put what I did and that a currently own my own business. I don't remember that sort of thing being asked when I used to be part of it, but...it wasn't on my radar (and I didn't have my own biz so it never came up). Blargh.

I think it's important sometimes too to keep in mind/watch out for those folks that loudly proclaim they're being shut out in public, when you know you've bent over backwards to include them, and that sometimes you will be called out by those folks no matter what you do.

I loop people into +jobs, post information as I get it, scene with people about it (though frankly this is reciprocated so rarely I'm always shocked!). And yet, I know now from experience not just on TR but elsewhere that you will still have a handful of people who will say that 'everyone' is 'shutting them out' esp. on staff jobs (even though as most of us know, a lot of times the holdup is slow staff response that simply cannot be helped, and yelling at the players who are also working on it might feel good to the yeller but does nothing at all except for make the wrong people feel bad). Or there will be some acknowledgement that you are trying to loop people in, but now you're controlling/not Doing It The Way I Need It.

So by all means, it's important to at least OOC info share if the culture allows it IMO. Or ask how people feel they'd best be utilized or be looped in! But realize that especially for 3rd party (not you) controlled plots/PrPs that there is a limit to what you can do, and being willing to take on the role of trying to get folks involved/being generous with your info also quite a few times makes you a target (like the customer service rep is a target--you're just the person that they're talking to about their frustration, and even if it's truly not your fault, you are probably going to be the recipient of a lot of vitriol when they're frustrated). I think that is why /some/ people are reluctant to really be open to including folks they don't know.

As an ST I have more control, and I can ASK people about their connections/character. I think the key to involvement as an ST is to make it personal/relevant/tied to the PCs involved. It takes a little more communication sometimes than generic Kill This Here stuff (not always though, and generic plots sometimes give you an insight into the PCs that you can file away for later).

I find it hard to ask for RP. Everyone's got their frailties, and my biggest one, frankly, is rejection. I always assume that people would rather RP with other people than me. I find it hard to join scenes already in progress even if they're public because I just know that I'm bothering people with my lame ass poses. I get flustered easily. 20 years of doing this and it hasn't gotten easier. I feel butterflies in my stomach when ever I ask on chan or even privately for play, even if I know the other person likes me.

But here's the thing. If I want to play, it's still ultimately on me to reach out. IT would be really nice if all those other people would do so, but for all I know they feel the same way. So I make myself do it, rather than assume that they're all ignoring me/hate me/passive aggressively sigh and mope on channels, ect. And sometimes other people do that and I get a break now and then in asking. It's just how things work. I find fair or not as I get older, I find it harder to deal with the hothouse flowers who even state openly on channel or in finger that they'll never ever ask you for RP because they're too shy. (To me, that takes more brass balls than I ever will possess to proactively declare to everyone it's all on them to make sure they get to interact with me, because it's out of my comfort zone. So I admit I will tend to avoid those folks because in my experience not only do they want to be paged first, the only RP they accept is where you are trying to 'draw out' their cool and deep character while very little reciprocity is given and they tend to assume that friendly PCs/PCs of this and that type are just shallow compared to them, ect.)

For me though involvement is largely about ooc attitude. I think having a friendly and open attitude helps lots. I understand why people don't, but if you wall yourself off or make it so that people have to work really really hard to get you involved, and you don't show initiative, I think that can make some of that a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I support the idea of having things be tied more to area of influence rather that straight splat, but I think realistically you are severely limiting your pool of otherwise excellent staffers by requiring people be well versed in all splats you offer to do anything beyond very specific spheres (some admin/magical items/build)

But if you could find enough knowledgeable people who are able to know the systems well enough to be able to handle multiple splats, I think that's an excellent way to avoid some of the sandbox issues or inter-splat weirdness/staff disagreements/protectionism that comes up.

I'm just not sure how realistic that is, depending upon the size of the place you're hoping for and how many splats you want to offer.

@Coin

I think that the activity level will go up eventually anyway, you've only been truly open for a very little while! And eventually I'm hoping to jump into events and meet people that way too. So it's not really a complaint so much. Part of it's the responsibility of the folks that are on during 'off hours' too to be visible and keep pinging too. In the meantime I've been having fun wandering the grid so that when someone does accept a RP invite I'll have multiple places/scenarios to pitch!

I have been having trouble too, ES! I am thinking part of it might be time of day too, at least for me. I don't mind vampires! And I doubt you've lost your touch. I'm Verity there.

I should edit for clarity that I have trouble finding pick up scenes/breaking in with folks I don't already know (since I do know people I can poke to meet up for a scene!) or who don't know me. I'm hoping to break out into RP with new folks though too. I'm sure as population picks up the opportunities will as well. But yeah, I've noticed the drop off in evening activity, but I figure I'll just keep pinging people.

I think for the type of offense that I would make a post to the entire game about a single individual, I would feel comfortable disclosing bit name.

My comment was more directed at the idea that for every disciplinary action, staff should make a general 'Don't forget people, never <insert bad thing here> or remember <this rule here>. ' post. With no context or indication that it is due to a specific circumstance. Those posts are useless clutter, IMO.

As for calling people out in public, I can think of egregious rules violations where that would be appropriate, like if it led to a ban, just so that people know that the ban occurred.

But just generic rules posts that are clearly targeted at something or someone unnamed are not useful, I don't think, for the reasons in my original post. They do not give 'real world examples', just that apparently someone somewhere violated them. But after a major disciplinary action, I can see the value of disclosing that--but I think if you are going to do that, then names should be used.

If it's not so serious a violation as to do that, then I think probably the boards are not an appropriate place to post. Unless, as I said, there is a rash of people doing the same thing, so that staff knows that there's obviously some kind of communication failure and it's becoming a community rather than individual problem.

Please for the love of god do NOT post to the boards for infractions by a specific player. The assholes/clueless never think it's about them, and the good people often end up thinking they did something wrong. It also clutters up your board and makes people start to skim.

If over a short period of time there are numerous people violating the same rules so that there is an obvious community problem, then that is when you use that option.

Using the bulletin boards for a problem with an individual rarely works and adds to the noise and clutter and why a lot of people glaze over reading them, or log in new to see bb1 with 250 posts about stuff that is already in the news.

BBoard is an outreach to the community as a whole. Unless it's getting to be a community problem, I don't think it's the place to do "this is targeted to an unnamed person couched in a reminder to all, but vague so that people all have to wonder who did what" posts. Or even worse when it is obvious that it's targeted at someone specific, but then it's the 'not to name names, but' variety.

Pumpkin and Sausage Soup

Even my squash hating kids and partner love this, it's super easy and cheap and very filling.

2 cups mashed pumpkin or 1 15oz can (NOT pumpkin pie filling, but plain)
4 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup minced onion
1 cup finely chopped mushrooms (sometimes I omit this)
2-3 cloves garlic, minced
1 1/2 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 lb spicy breakfast sausage
1/2 cup half and half (I usually use heavy cream though, or sometimes omit altogether)

Brown sausage, drain, then add onion, shrooms, garlic, and herbs. When the onion is translucent, stir in the pumpkin. Stir in the broth and mix well. Simmer 20-30 mins. Stir in cream and simmer on low another 10 minutes. Taste and salt/pepper as needed. I often have a red pepper flake shaker on hand for people to spice it up more if they want to.

You can also crock this, after browning the sausage, but don't add the cream until you're almost ready to serve. It's really really good with some crusty bread or cornbread, unless like me you lowcarb it.

Yay!!

German-Japanese-Cajun

Adopted into an Italian and British/Scottish family.

I've actually been starting to find quite a few distant (3rd cousin range) biological relatives on 23andMe.

I always wondered if the no identifying information I had was full of shit or not (my adoption happened in the era of agencies being able to do whatever) but it was neat to see the test confirm at least the Japanese/Asian component as well as geographical region where a lot of those 3rd cousins show up.

I have fair skin and freckles but tan well and don't burn easily. I think my biracial features were much more obvious when I was a kid and teen (I got teased a lot) but now i don't think other people notice except for other -Asian people. They're usually the ones that ask.

In general, I have a no holds barred approach to sexual themes in my RP. There's very little that truly squicks me. It's not because I'm unfamiliar, personally or otherwise, with bad things--writing/storytelling is cathartic for me personally.

The reason why I try to exercise personal caution when engaging in them with others is because I do know that there are many people who would be triggered and I don't want to hurt someone if I can help it. As well as the fact that there are people who make me uncomfortable when they violate OOC boundaries. (Lying about ties OOCly, pressure for certain types of RP, ect.) As much as I wish that there wasn't so much weirdness about sex, culturally, I know that there is so generally I will not engage in graphic RP with anyone who doesn't wish to communicate about their preferences/expectations around it (and saying 'hey anything goes, let me know if something bothers you oocly, though' counts as communication) because it's too much of a risk for me to deal with on a game.

Rape RP doesn't bother me at all. People using it as an OOC whispering campaign (for or against the IC victim) and crossing IC/OOC lines does, and I have very rarely not seen that happen, so I totally understand why many games have policies of either none of that in the public sphere OR all parties must publically declare consent so that the OOC stuff doesn't come into play.

TS can be fun/funny. But like others have said, I mean, I don't like doing anything ALL the time. I have found that sometimes (not with a good RPer) entering into that will make it the focus of RP between those two PCs and I find it boring after awhile. I like relationship RP (like others I prefer complicated to 'princess and prince together 4 ever happy unicorns') but for it to be interesting to me I like doing a great many things, and TS can take time away from interacting with the world at large or doing those other things if it becomes too much of a focus. For me. Other people are happy with everyday TS and I don't think anything's wrong with it. And some people never, and that's just fine too. I would not preclude involvement with either one, though I suspect the every day person would get pretty frustrated with me after awhile and I'd want to disclose up front that I don't think I'd be able to maintain that.

It's really not all that different from any other kind of group matchup. You can really like a player and their PC, but if you're in incompatible time zones or you're on 8 hours a day and they are on for 8 hours a week, probably there's going to be some issues that have nothing to do with anyone being a dud, and it's probably good to be realistic about what's a good match.

Ganymede.

I've run into that playstyle often enough that I'm pretty sure there are a few mushes or have been where that's just how things were done. It's frustrating to me because while I do like to toss dice (more for the random opportunity to fail and fail horribly), to me that's not really the kind of role playing that enjoy. I want to see real poses, ect.

If this is on a place where the above isn't the predominant culture, I'd be inclined to push a bit. (We're not going to do this via request, we're going to resolve it in rp, so the info you receive and how will be tied in part to your poses and not just OOCly stated actions). If it is the culture though, or the vast majority of the group and that's what they like though...harder call. I think the ST should get to have fun too, but sometimes you have to work with the ooc capabilities of the group too, and not everyone is going to meet your personal play standards all of the time, you know?

I'm not sure that court scenes can. In fact, I wish kind of that info dump things like that were run more like board meetings (just business) to keep them brief, like under an hour, if you want to react or whatever, do what you can, if you want to talk to others, keep it to tt, but the speaker needs to keep moving, and then cut people lose for social reaction later. A spherewide meeting like that is just not the place for individual goals necessarily. I don't think you can make every group scene into a plot, especially 15+ ones. It's just a thing that you know what to expect, and hopefully you get out of it soon enough to do some more personal RP.

I could see maybe as an incentive to getting biz done early, running a more targeted social thing afterwards. Fight club? Debate? Scavenger hunt? But I think court is by its very nature not very collaborative. Just my personal take on it though. Mostly due to years of oWoD courtstuff where folks had to show up to something that was already going to take 3 hours for everyone to pose in what they're wearing instead of putting it in their desc, waiting round robin, ect, trying to get through biz only to have someone drop a plot element 4 hours in that by that point nobody gave a shit about because they were all exhausted.

Since I would hope that Bob isn't participating in the action plot that he's STing, I thought we were speaking of participants, period.

If someone shows up for a social scene and interacts with people in a way that is engaging and meaningful, I do not see why they should get less reward than someone who shows up to an "important" scene where frankly, in that same amount of time, there may be far less bridgebuilding and interaction between PCs just by the nature of things.

The complaint seemed to be that Jane could get "the same" reward for showing up to 4 social gatherings, that Bob gets for doing his danger scene. I would ask, why should she not, or even perhaps get more? Done right, she's actually probably engaging more people in RP in those 4 scenes and making connections than he is (which is its own reward, so I don't terribly mind that he's being given an advantage mechanically in XP gathering) That's 4 times the activity to his 1. But ideally, I think people probably should be doing both.

If Jane interacted out on the grid 4 times with different people,, even if it was social, why shouldn't that be rewarded, vs. Bob who only shows up for 'important' plot scenes? (I think we all know people like that).

Personally I enjoy risk a lot. Not all the time, but I feel most engaged with a mix of both. I have had PCs that only showed up for shoot 'em up scenes though. And my favorite PC primarily did social and networking stuff for like a year because nobody invited me to anything more than that (and I was too intimidated for awhile to realize that I could run my own stuff, once that changed then I was a lot happier!)

I don't understand the need to denigrate one kind of activity over the other. "Important" risky scenes are often long and involve a lot of rules. It's not everyone's cup of tea. Social scenes, especially big mixers, are draining for a lot of people, and they avoid them like the plague.

I guess it's a pet peeve of mine when people who are consistently active (they say yes to a lot of folks seeking rp, they're willing to meet new folks even if it's not super exciting environments, ect) are perceived as less deserving/good than people who can't be assed to show up unless it's a Super Important Metaplot Thing.

This is a separate issue from calling a meet and greet a PRP though. I wholeheartedly agree that it isn't.