Posts made by Sunny

I will be playing here, if anybody wants to make characters with me. BUFFY. I have been waiting for a while.

Aaaaaand my brother has now disowned me because I (being entirely reasonable, honestly, I am quite capable of being calm in text even if I'm upset) told her that I'd talk to her when she was capable of being not cruel to me and that I was not her punching bag. It's really hurtful, and not only because I've been fighting hard for them with the rest of my family. I mean, he's been my brother since I was six years old. I have been there for him for many years when NO ONE else was speaking to him. But since I won't participate in his wife's meltdown (fuck, I'm the one that made it possible for them to even be together at all!), he's done with me. I really don't know if this hurts more or less than my mom dying. At least she didn't choose to leave me.

@Silver said:

@Sunny None of my business, or any of our businesses really, but I'm going to ask anyway: What part does sister-in-law have to play in this?

Because it sounds suspiciously similar to a few events in my own family.

She took care of my mom for a few years while my mom was sick. There were things that my mom wanted her to have, but they're sentimental to my father in a huge way. He's not going to be around forever; it's not like she's not going to get it eventually (I'm executor of the estate when all is said and done, down the road). I promised her she would. Promised mom, too. I did NOT promise that it would be while my father was still around, because that's like shoving a knife into his heart and twisting. I mean, I love her, too. I thought it was mutual. I mean, these people are my family. Or at least, that's how I feel.

I really don't have any idea what I might have done wrong. Everything was great yesterday. Then today, threats are being leveled and I apparently didn't love her and so much other crap. It's SO freaking hurtful.

And yeah, I kjnow it's none of anybody's business. I really shouldn't have aired this in public and I know it but there was going to be a meltdown if I didn't vent somehow.

@Roz said:

@Sunny said:

RL Anger: My mother passed away on Tuesday. She was my step-mom, but she and my dad got married when I was six. She's my mother, too. My brothers -- her sons, not my father's -- have apparently decided I'm no longer family. My sister-in-law is threatening the rest of the family because she's not getting the physical things that she thinks she should. Everyone handles grief differently and I know this. I really do. But I cannot at all cope with being threatened and being told by my brother. My brother. That I'm not family and didn't love her and apparently thinking I have the same right as everyone else involved to be sad somehow makes me an awful person.

Jesus Christ, that's awful. I'm so sorry.

This whole time I have been fighting with my dad and my sister and everything, reminding them all over and over again that they're my brothers, that it doesn't matter, none of it matters, they're family. And this is the result. My older brother. We've been so close my entire life. And now just...yeah. This is incredibly fucked up and I know I shouldn't even be posting about this but I can't whine on facebook or to any of my family because all it's going to do is toss some more dynamite into the explosion that's already happening.

Edited to add: @BetterJudgment -- thank you.

RL Anger: My mother passed away on Tuesday. She was my step-mom, but she and my dad got married when I was six. She's my mother, too. My brothers -- her sons, not my father's -- have apparently decided I'm no longer family. My sister-in-law is threatening the rest of the family because she's not getting the physical things that she thinks she should. Everyone handles grief differently and I know this. I really do. But I cannot at all cope with being threatened and being told by my brother. My brother. That I'm not family and didn't love her and apparently thinking I have the same right as everyone else involved to be sad somehow makes me an awful person.

@ZombieGenesis

I am unable to log in! Host was not found, verify the address, it tells me. TEASE!

@Spawnblade said:

@Sunny - My use of the terms was based simply on the Reach website pointing to one successor, while others were ignored by that same medium. It seems I misused them? I wasn't implying that one server had the right to be open and the others didn't -- I do not think this at all, and have experienced similar fracturings in the past with different games (UO shards, NWN servers, etc.) I get that people have different visions, and I whole-heartedly believe anyone who is willing to put forth the effort to realize them, should be able to.

I was just clarifying that there wasn't any official/unofficial, that's all. The use of the terms didn't offend me or anything, I just wanted to make sure it was understood since this medium for RP is kinda weird compared to others. There was some stupid stink about the whole TR/SHH thing, so nipping potential drama = good. Nothing personal.

As far as what game blew up, it is KD, the one I babble a lot about; there's a thread in advertisements. It's nowhere near huge or anything, doesn't hold a candle to what TR was at its height, but I'd say it's a medium sized game. People always around, which is the important bit.

@Coin said:

but they're more limited in their scope and are not the massive sphere thing that Eldritch will someday (it is hoped) be.

Again. Not really our goal. We don't want to be a big game. I you, @Sunny, but if someone is hoping that, it's certainly not Eldritch's original staff. (I can´t speak for our newest members, but the fact remains.)

Thanks for the spelling correction, I knew I had it wrong but I just woke up and was lazy. I know it's not your goal, and I was more referring to the intention of inclusion of spheres, rather than being a massive number of players beast.

There are a lot of nWoD games. This 'unofficial' and 'official' replacement, that's not quite how mushes work. They're closing The Reach, and opening Fallcoast. The reasons and such behind it are what they are and irrelevant to what you're asking, I think. Drama. You can sum it up with that, and if you're going to mush, get used to Drama.

There are a host of single sphere games, and several upcoming games / young games for nWoD. Eldrich is the only one I'd recommend that I know of that are up and running -- Reno and Kingsmouth both have good reputations, but they're more limited in their scope and are not the massive sphere thing that Eldrich will someday (it is hoped) be. There's a splinter game off of TR called Safe Haven Harbor, but it's invite only and I can't say I'd recommend it to anyone who isn't already invested in it. I stress that this is not 'unofficial' or 'official' -- the people involved in creating it had every right to the material, whether or not The Reach folks agree with that. None of it was the Reach's stuff to begin with, and afaik the actual creator of TR is okay with SHH being out there.

The oWoD games that are big that I know of are City of Hope and New Prospect, which are essentially the same game. The reason they're big and popular is because they're open chargen, no BG required, no policing of the grid, no staff run plot, giant sandboxes, basically. I'd warn an new musher away from both of them purely because you need to go in with a skillset for finding RP and taking care of your own fun that are purely mushing skills. You'll pick them up elsewhere.

What I have seen is that a lot of the people fleeing TR are either going to Eldrich, Kingsmouth, or Reno, or they're leaving the genre entirely and branching off into non-WoD games. I've seen an influx of players on several non-WoD games, and one of them has blown up with people in direct relation to TR's nosedive.

Hope that's helpful. Eldrich is your best bet as a new player looking for a good nWoD game with sane, ethical staff and an above-average playerbase, I think. Both Reno and Kingsmouth are good, but they're more niche than Eldrich is.

I'd be more than happy to do so, @Rook. No problem. I am good at kid gloves.

That said, obviously it didn't happen this weekend. Had family things crop up. ETA is next weekend at this point.

Update:

What I was waiting on resolving is as resolved as it's going to get for the time being, but everything unstable is mostly stable again. Thus, this thing is getting the green light.

I'll be getting a clean install of Mux up on my site this weekend sometime, and I'll be passing the address around here and then to those that emailed me, as well. We'll get everybody together and the brainstorming / discussion / etc will begin.

@Ganymede said:

I hate insurance adjusters too. Luckily, the ones I work with listen to me. I've heard horror stories.

Yeah. There are a LOT of Claim Managers that are really really good and wonderful people and in it for the right reasons (helping injured people get back to work), but there are also quite a few that are just....awful. Awful awful awful.

@Luna said:

Can't we all be adults who sometimes don't get along? Being cordial and getting along I feel are not really the same. Isn't it ok to not like everyone yet not feel the need to stir up trouble? At what point do you draw the line and say 'ok, you two are not getting along, so person a is allowed to say what they want but you're making them sad and mad, you're not allowed to say shit'.

Getting along doesn't mean liking people, it means maintaining politeness regardless, not being aggressive just because, etc. I don't care if people like one another, that's got nothing to do with the price of tea in China. Getting along means behaving like adults in an adult hobby. It means no slinging insults, and everyone paying attention to what they say. It also means not taking offense at stupid shit, not asking questions you don't want honest answers to, and a whole host of other things as well. The onus isn't on any given person, really, to take the high road. If everyone is getting along, then nobody needs to take the high road.

I have at least a dozen people in my office that I cannot stand. At all. They are, in my opinion, horrible people who should not only be fired, but should probably spend some time in the stocks with their claimants getting baskets of rotten fruit and vegetables. These are people that are genuinely doing awful things that are, unfortunately, just barely within the law. They know they're skirting the line, for the most part. They do it anyway because they're mean.

I still get along with them. I don't have to tell them what I think. I don't have to go have beers with them on a weekend night, either. We're adults in a professional environment. That's what people do. These rules of social conduct can and probably should make the transition to mushing. People are obviously capable of it. Is there drama and BS and problems sometimes? Absolutely. People are people. Usually drama and BS problems like that end up with somebody getting a disciplinary action, a grievance (from the union), or getting fired. Because that shit is not okay.

This is a hobby, not professional, correct. There are a number of reasons my analogy doesn't apply, starting with people having the motivation of money to behave themselves. Our currency is fun, and a lot of people don't need to get along with other people to have fun.

There aren't many of us left that are still in their teens and early twenties. The BS we pulled when we were kids is not okay any more. The hobby really needs to grow the fuck up.

@Gingerlily

Get out of my thread, bitch!

@ Everyone Else
See? I am NOT her. Isn't she lovely, though?

Posting from the gaaaaame that just went up.

Message: 23/32 Posted Author
STAFF WANTED SUMMER UPDATE Jun 25 2015 Asherat

You guys have been great about responding to our STAFF WANTEDs, whether out of deep love for pleasing us or sweet xp incentives. Either way, it is time for an update, so an update you get.

Presently our Provinces seem balanced enough...what I'm noticing is gaps in the Great Houses there, and they need filling for lots of reasons. I know a lot of our newer players prefer working with 'blank slate' families and making them your own, and I totally understand why. However, I'm going to be trying to get some movement in the families that are 'established' (Bear in mind that if they were established and very ACTIVE we wouldn't need to do this, so there will still be a lot of freedom in who your char is and how they fit in.) As such, present incentives/wanteds are:

Mereliot: We have had a bit of movement here but this family should be a powerhouse. Make it so. +20 for doing just that. It's a very cool house with control over Marsilikos and a lot of potential for different flavors of rp. (affinity with Eisheth, seafaring types, foreigner lovers or whatever else floats your boat)

L'Envers: The sovereign rulers of Namarre, there is potential to get involved in all kinds of political rp, and for upward mobility too, depending on how ambitious your character is. Also the connection with Naamah can add for color. +15

Trevalion: The sovereign rulers of Azzalle, this family has plenty of potential power to use in play, and upward mobility is possible as well for the ambitious. Join up! +15

Morbhan: This Kusheline house still needs more people to make it more robust. Here we have some potential faction v faction play (a rivalry over a Sovereign Ducal spot lost to the family that characters banding together to regain would be awesome. It's also highly likely that a Duc will be available in this family, so get in while the getting is good. +20

Shahrizai: The current Sovereign rulers of Kusheth, this fam is popular in the books because it created the star villain, and because they have a reputation as a whole for clannishness and hunger for power. The Dauphine's son and heir is a Shahrizai and her husband is a d'Aiglemort, so there is potential push and pull there as well, their relationship with the crown is interesting and can be explored in many ways, as can their relationship with other houses. Being a villain just because you picked Shahrizai is NOT necessary...affinity to Kushiel doesn't automatically make one twisted, that is a personal choice. +20

Rousse, Rocaille, Fiscard: All Greater families that hold duchies but do not 'rule' them, they need some fleshing out as well, and some are currently empty. Check the wiki and talk to staff. +15

Note that what we are -mostly- after is political chars, but it isn't all we are interested in. Expanding the families so that the political characters that DO emerge from the woodwork have people to play off of is important too. If politics isn't your jam, still consider these options, a lesser noble among any of these groups would have plenty of potential rp.

As always thanks for reading and for being awesome. All former incentives are closed, and these are your new ones! Or make something totally different, all you'll miss out on is some of my fawning and some extra points in chargen. Most of all have a blast with whatever you create!

@HelloRaptor said:

@Sunny

It is actually harassment, the pages y'all are talking about. It's not a MASSIVE case of harassment, and not something I'd kick someone off a game for without repeated offenses. It's still enough of one that I'd want to sit someone down and say 'hey, just so you know, this actually isn't okay'.

I love you, I understand why you think this is the case, but no.

To me, this speaks to the bigger social idea that everyone needs to just be nice to each other, and that not being nice should get you put in the naughty corner.

Okay. Yeah, you're right. I just think that the main symptom people are talking about using unfindable for (the paging directly to be snarky about who you're playing with) is something that would best be solved by dealing with the issue.

I'm also still of the 'can't we all just be adults and get along' opinion, and I'm playing on a game right now that's close enough to the ideal for me that it's totally skewed my perspective on what other games are like. None of what I'm saying would really apply on a game that wasn't small enough to not take any shit. I still maintain that in a perfect world, the way to address these issues is through communication and not avoidance, but you're right, we absolutely aren't in a perfect world. As much as I hate it. And you. I hate being wrong.

(This is copied over from the other thread, so it's a little disjointed)

@Arkandel said:

@Rook said:

I never understood why a simple +IGNORE-like command made you unfindable to people whom you don't want stalking you. Maybe another level could hide you from simple WHO, +WHO, +WHERE, +HANGOUTS when they run them.

<logs on an unknown alt>
<types "WHO", "WHERE", etc>
<profits>

The command would, sensibly, be based on an IP or some sort of +alts system. So it would be a little more involved than just logging an alt in. Doing it based on the login means (for the precise reason quoted here) that it'd be ineffective. Anybody capable of putting such a command together is probably going to see the facepalm-worthy way before they set out to actually put functions and commands for it on an object.

But I'm with @Thenomain here. We don't want a command like this because if someone is stalking one person, staff needs to get involved -- if they lose that target, they probably aren't suddenly going to behave. Get it?

I'm sorry; gone are the days when we can all afford to just say 'screw everyone else, it's only my fun that's important'. We're all responsible for looking after any game that we're on; that means that if we're not staff on these games, we need to be reporting issues to staff, not hiding them. It's a hassle and a headache and these idiots have been preying on people for WAY too many years, now.

We're all grownups playing around the same shared table, even if it's a huge table at a convention that people come and go from as the weekend wears on. We really, really need to start acting like it. I am saying that it's everyone's responsibility, if they enjoy the game they are playing on, to report issues to staff. Period, end of story. You don't know if the issue in question is going to be the one that kills the game. You don't know if the mayonnaise salad that's been out for two days is going to give people food poisoning, but maaaaaybe you should mention to the GM that the ice is melted, yeah?

--

(Okay, this part is new.)

The thing is, there is a cultural force at work here. That cultural force is that it's easier to ignore most misbehavior, allowing the misbehavior to continue. It is actually harassment, the pages y'all are talking about. It's not a MASSIVE case of harassment, and not something I'd kick someone off a game for without repeated offenses. It's still enough of one that I'd want to sit someone down and say 'hey, just so you know, this actually isn't okay'.

I like to approach game design topics this way:

What problems does having the unfindable flag address?
What problems does having the unfindable flag cause?
How can the problems with allowing the unfindable flag be addressed?
How can the problems with not allowing the unfindable flag be addressed?
Do these problems / solutions differ for the flag being used on rooms vs players?

Answering these questions thoroughly should lead to the appropriate solution for any given game.

ETA: Holy shit, you can tell I'm on a game right now where I thoroughly trust staff. I will say coming at this from the angle of a game where I'm not feeling secure? Fuck, I want the damn flag.

Edited: Moooooooving this post to the right thread. People going and making new threads mumble mumble mumble.

@Roz said:

It wasn't actually victim-blaming rape victims, it was using the common practice of victim-blaming rape victims as a comparison for someone saying that maybe if you're completely uninterested in helping games reduce their problems, you are part of the problem.

Which is also really inappropriate.

Thanks Roz.

@Silver
Yep, I really think that victim-blaming rape victims has absolutely nothing to do with the unfindable flag and no place in this conversation.

@Arkandel
I don't troll. This is a VERY SERIOUS conversation. Very serious.Look -- rape victim blaming has come up. It doesn't get any more serious than that.

@Silver said:

@Sunny said:

And thus, you are part of the problem. If someone is breaking the rules, why would you not tell staff? Particularly if they're making you actively uncomfortable? We're not talking about kindergarten bickering here, we're talking on a mush violating stated policy.

That's me. Part of the problem. I'm the part that chose to dress like that. I mean, just look at me. I was asking for it!

Did you really just make this allusion? Really? I maintain my position; you and people that have your attitude are the reason we can't have nice things. I'm going to make a wildly inappropriate comparison as well, because yay!

If someone breaks into my apartment and I just sit on the couch and watch them steal my stuff, okay. Generally I'm going to want to call the cops (it's illegal, and all) but hey, I don't want to tattle, that's fine. So I remember to lock the door next time. The guy comes back the next day, finds the door locked. He's going to either try my neighbor's, or come in through the window. For the sake of argument, let's say he comes in through my window, and grabs most of what's left of my valuables, then leaves. So...rather than calling the cops (nobody likes a tattletale!), I lock my window.

Smacking me and saying 'you should have called the cops the first time' when my apartment gets broken into on the third day is not victim blaming.

It just isn't.