Posts made by Sunny

@faraday said in Consent in Gaming:

@Sunny said in Consent in Gaming:

I can see your perspective, but I don't think there's a problem with somebody opting out of something even if it's just 'that's not fun for me' as a reason.

It's one thing to say: "Nah, no thanks" to a RP invitation because the plot/scene/whatever doesn't sound like fun. You can't force people to RP. That to me is different from raising a red flag on the scene using a rule designed to protect people from uncomfortable, potentially-triggering events.

And it's my opinion that FTB doesn't have to be for a 'red flag' event. That it's OK to use it surrounding 'this scene isn't fun'. My character did X. Yep, she did. She totally deserves to be chewed out by her commander. I don't want to roleplay it. Why does it have to happen on screen? I think it's just fine to FTB that. It's not even making me uncomfortable! It's just not fun and I don't want to play it.

ETA: Like, I do understand that this would be viewed as poor sportsmanship by some folks. I totally get it. I just don't agree that it is, that's all! I would thus not play on a game where this was viewed as poor sportsmanship, and would expect that were I running a game where I emphasized this was OK, those people who really don't agree wouldn't play there.

@faraday said in Consent in Gaming:

@Sunny said in Consent in Gaming:

I do not understand. Why would it lower your opinion of them?

I probably spoke too broadly. I can imagine certain types of humiliating punishments being triggering to some folks - e.g. Cersei's "walk of shame" in GoT.

But setting those situations aside and looking at the more general case, it strikes me as poor sportsmanship to use the FTB clause solely to avoid scenes that make your character look bad. It suggests an unhealthy level of either character bleed (I'm gonna take IC punishments too much to heart), competitiveness (I can't let you get one over on me!) or selfishness (I'm really just here to look awesome, so no I don't want to play that.)

Okay, with more elaboration, I definitely disagree. I can see your perspective, but I don't think there's a problem with somebody opting out of something even if it's just 'that's not fun for me' as a reason. I don't see it as poor sportsmanship or bad play or anything, because in my opinion, the consequences are for the character, not the player. As long as the consequences happen, in my opinion and preferences there isn't a problem with it (but I recognize that other people feel differently).

In my opinion, a 2 hour scene in which my character is yelled at by their IC commander for an action they took is going to be boring for me -- at best. I have better things to do with my time. I'm OK with that calling down a judgment on me as a player from some directions, it just means I wouldn't play with those folks.

ETA: A lot of STUFF happens off-screen on these games. We don't RP out even remotely most of our characters' lives. I do not agree that 'my character is yelled at' has to be something we roleplay out when it's only going to be fun for half of the people involved.

@faraday said in Consent in Gaming:

We're here to tell stories and roleplay. Generally speaking that means actually playing the scenes. It's one thing to avoid a torture scene because torture makes people squicky. But somebody 'nope-ing' out of a "get yelled at by the commander" scene just because it was ICly embarrassing is cheapening the reason why the FTB option exists. I'd still honor the request, but I think it would lower my opinion of that player considerably.

I do not understand. Why would it lower your opinion of them?

ETA: I know this could sound confrontational but I REALLY don't mean it that way, I seriously am reading this and not comprehending why and hoping it can be explained so I do understand.

You can still get/play Trade Wars and it has held up pretty well too.

@mietze said in Star vs Ensemble Cast - Why Theme is Vital:

Ok, sorry. Since I brought up scope I thought I would try to explain more of what i meant by that.

Oh no, your addition was wonderful and one I hadn't thought of! Definitely got amended to my internal list.

I totally don't think that what definition people use specifically actually matters, just for the love of little green apples if you're going to have a conversation about theme, define theme, otherwise it's all nonsense all the day long with people talking past one another and nobody actually learning anything.

I may have completely misunderstood this, mind, but it's been my impression that it isn't 'racism bad', it's 'RL racism your players have to deal with is bad'. People don't want to deal with the same crap they do in their real lives, generally. Pretendy racism is fine.

So anti-FAE? OK for RP. Nazi? That's where folks' issue is. Nobody is actually a faerie trying to live in a human's world, so the oppression/racism/issues aren't the types of things that folks object to, when they do object.

ETA: There is a wide gulf between 'this is something I/my parent/my grandparent/my friend had to live with/lives with every day' and fabricated situations/stories. Anti-fae slurs don't call the same things to mind. This sort of setting is a good, generally safe way to explore these harder topics, really. WITHOUT doing damage to real people who have had to deal with real situations.

I forgot genre.

Genre: This is like, what TYPE of game. Sci-fi, urban fantasy, etc.. I'd actually say with some of the bigger IPs, the IP itself is at this point the genre (WoD, Pern, Star Wars) at least culturally.

ETA: Culturally as in within our hobby, to clarify.

Shared language is important for these things:

Setting: Where/when the game takes place. The world.
Story/Metaplot: The backdrop of the game; the larger happenings that characters interact with and smaller plotlines are built on.
Theme: Elements that tie all of the stories (see above) together
Scope: How big is the story; are you focusing as a game runner on the individuals, their neighborhood, the city, the country, the world, the solar system?

These don't cover everything, nor even the most important (imnsho) question in game building, mind:
What are the players going to do with their time in game?

ETA: Luna is the best. fite me.

roars in dinosaur

28, here.

@Auspice said in Getting Young Blood Into MU*'ing:

@Sunny said in Getting Young Blood Into MU*'ing:

@Auspice said in Getting Young Blood Into MU*'ing:

@Sunny said in Getting Young Blood Into MU*'ing:

Denying someone's shared experience because it 'shouldn't' be like that isn't helpful.

No one denied anyone's experience: we shared ours. Please don't insert malicious intent where there isn't any.

Er? Maybe take your own advice about inserting malicious intent? I wasn't making an accusation, it's all good. I was agreeing with you. o.o

My apologies, then. It came across as a condemnation for what the rest of us had said in response to tek's post.

I apologize that I came across like that, then! I did not mean it that way.

@Auspice said in Getting Young Blood Into MU*'ing:

@Sunny said in Getting Young Blood Into MU*'ing:

Denying someone's shared experience because it 'shouldn't' be like that isn't helpful.

No one denied anyone's experience: we shared ours. Please don't insert malicious intent where there isn't any.

Er? Maybe take your own advice about inserting malicious intent? I wasn't making an accusation, it's all good. I was agreeing with you. o.o

ETA: Like, expounding on a point isn't an attack, I promise. I was elaborating on the sorts of issues that new folks have to deal with with differing cultures between games and how many, many things there are that change between games.

We DON'T have a unified culture or set of expectations; they differ heavily from one game to another. OOC chat amounts, who to acknowledge in poses, pose order (or lack thereof), length of poses, public scenes, pose in or rely on the room message...I could go on, and on, and on, and on. Navigating these things is ROUGH for new people, especially if they come in to 'mushing' and not a specific game with specific people helping them with the culture of THAT GAME. Transitioning to a new game the first time has got to be awful, it really does.

Denying someone's shared experience because it 'shouldn't' be like that isn't helpful.

@WildBaboons said in Getting Young Blood Into MU*'ing:

@Auspice said in Getting Young Blood Into MU*'ing:

Does it suck if no one acknowledges you? Sure. But I also, personally, don't give a shit if a couple people don't. So long as I have someone/thing to respond to (and that people I specifically address react), I'm good.

This. I've absolutely been in scenes where absolutely no one acknowledges my presence. Directed statements and actions just no responded to like they never happened. It sucks.... but really, I don't think the expectation is there to react to everyone if what they do doesn't involve you in any way. If someone hands you a soda, react to it.. but if they hand Sally a can of pop you really don't need to acknowledge it unless it was meant to be your can of coke.

While I agree this SHOULD be the way it is, it absolutely is not the case across cultures. There are some games @tek is probably playing on where it IS the case, culturally. I judge that culture harshly (JUDGEY EYES), but it IS something that they have likely encountered and are not just misunderstanding it.

@Wretched said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

https://www.additudemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/10252_Understand-Conditions_secrets-of-the-adhd-brain.pdf

I read this. Thank you.

(He's right peeps, read it. Fascinating, helpful, and it even provides at least one coping strategy that never bloody occurred to ME, at least... also, it's only 16 pages.)

ETA: I really like this because everything else aside, it provides some language that could be helpful in talking to doctors / bosses / other people about what folks are experiencing. Shared language is SO important for getting heard.

While I would love to see a Dark Crystal game, I would NOT want to see it from someone whose primary interest is in making/running a WoD game (or any other game). I'd rather see someone who is interested in doing a Dark Crystal game do it. They're not even similar themes.

I find this kind of suggestion kind of jerk-ish towards those people who are putting the time and effort into making a WoD game. It's not what I want? But obviously if they're going through the immense undertaking of making a game, that's what they want to do, and being a snoot about it is just blech. Even in light humor, I think it's a lot meaner to say than people realize it is.

ETA: Leave people making WoD games (or any other genre the general 'you' is not a fan of) alone. Let them make whatever game they want. If you think there should be a different type of game than what is being offered, telling people who are making another type of game to change what they're doing...is not the way to go about it, and is unkind.

@gryphter

Agreed. The nitpicking that goes on is...more than a little flat out stupid, and often lacks any sort of perspective.

No, folks, 'I prefer dogs' does not actually mean I want to put all cat owners to death, and 'I disagree with that' is not an insult or a personal attack or slinging shit.

Really.

@Thenomain said in What MU/RPG opinions have you changed or maintained?:

@Sunny said in What MU/RPG opinions have you changed or maintained?:

making something a priority (everyone's enjoyment) over continuity does not mean I don't/can't recognize someone taking advantage of that

This.

It doesn't surprise me that some people don't understand the PTSD° of surviving some of the worst, most self-centered staff and overbearing, self-righteous players.

The quote above is a sign of healing.

---

° This is not to demean anyone with battlefield- or domenstic-style PTSD. My heart goes out to all who do.

Lol, hey. It IS a sign of healing, and I didn't really recognize that. Thanks. I have been doing a LOT of healing work the last few years, after the hell of my younger years, and it's neat to recognize it happening in areas I'm not really actively working on.

Also, as someone who does deal with PTSD of the non-combat variety, I do think it is a reasonable way to discuss this variety, because it IS what it is. Trauma is trauma, and how human creatures deal with it is the thing.

Yes. The most important bit IS that you actually WANT to. I think that part applies to everyone. It is so hard you have to actually really want it (rather than knowing you should, my SO can't quit vaping still because he just doesn't want to, he likes it). I think everyone has a different thing that will work. Me, I am one of the most stubborn shits anyone will ever meet, so of course stubborn was eventually what worked for me. It was like the 6th try though that it finally worked.

Now I'm lucky that I am also prideful, because pride in not smoking and having quit has kept me from restarting a few times. ^.^

When I quit, vaping didn't work for it, cutting down didn't either. Cold turkey and willpower was what worked for me. I think it might be different for everyone.