@Selerik So, so many reasons I am glad things have changed since 20 years ago, and even more than 40 years ago. Seriously. Still miles from perfect, but goddamn.
I was 'lucky' that my mother was able to get the on-and-off-it-applies-while-we-decide-on-the-H diagnosis when I was tiny. She worked with kids as an occupational therapist and had the connections to make it happen, even if we still got jerked around for over a decade as science tried to make up its fool mind.
@bored Part of the problem is that once it gets ugly, the whole thread goes to the pit -- which means civil discussion ends.
I'm totally chill with the offending posts going there if people want to have that slapfight, or them being deleted with a 'if you want to yell at each other about this make a new thread in the appropriate space'.
The current 'just move the whole thing' destroys the chance for any future productive discussion on the topic in which people are expected to act like mature adults. It's not like the usual suspects won't derail a second attempt at the thread in the same way much of the time, or that it won't just stall because 'we already talked about that why do we need a new thread'. Well, if we want a constructive space to discuss that topic, now we need a new thread.
This essentially punishes the people who are engaging as appropriate, and rewards the people behaving badly, since in many cases, the worst offenders just want to watch the world burn. The worst fights may come from decent people arguing fervently about something they feel strongly about, but the worst offenders are repeat offenders who give none fucks about the grey line Arkandel describes, or gleefully riverdance over it for fun.
@Carex You just reminded me of this: https://youtu.be/TgnIjJexut4 -- Hellsing Abridged.
There are multiple eps of it after this. I'm pretty sure most people have seen this, but if you haven't become aware of this yet, it may just be the laugh you need today.
Violence/language/political-correctness-not-remotely-in-evidence warning for anyone tempted to view at work or easily grossed out or offended.
The answer you probably know I'm going to give you, Theno: one designed explicitly for MU and not tabletop.
The conditions at a table and on a MU have enough significant and impactful differences that, over time, this has become increasingly obvious as one of the main issues for games based on an existing tabletop system.
Additionally, it means all documentation for the game can be made available on the game itself or its wiki or ideally both, without any concerns about copyright or nastygrams from game companies, etc.
@Apu Know this feeling all too well. All the hugs and empathetic wincing.
Some people just suck. Some don't. I just wish the ones really good at just pretending they aren't heartless, selfish jackasses would stop existing entirely.
@thesuntsar I wish I could tell you. I still can't manage to type the word 'thigh' without having to correct it from 'thight' every single time and I've been doing this since 1996.
I was raised Catholic to the point of Confirmation, but then dispersed from the Catholic church for personal reasons mostly stemming towards the philosophical. I believe that people need to live up to their facades and the concept that if you do something you claim to not believe in, then you cannot claim to not believe in it.
Shit, dude. Exactly the same here.
I got the "It's just what you do at that age," rationale, and I full-stop noped that right there.
I wasn't going to make a lifelong promise I had no idea if I could or would ever want to keep.
I didn't know if there was or wasn't a God who would give a shit what I did.
What I did know is that there were people, real feeling human beings, in that place, some of whom may just be there because 'that's what you do at that age' and some because they really believed. And if there was even one person in that church who kept those promises and believed sincerely, my presence as someone who 'just did what you do at that age' was grossly disrespectful to them, and I knew I could not do that.
@arkandel said in Social Stats in the World of Darkness:
I am starting to develop an intense dislike for that word - agency.
Agency in this context means you have a say in the direction a story is developing and your character's role in it; it doesn't mean you control their every aspect. It doesn't mean there can be no setbacks, losses or embarrassments in the way. Such control is in the domain of writing novels (or fan fiction), not roleplaying.
It's being overused to mean "I never lose". That's not what it's supposed to stand for.
Then people need to clarify that it doesn't mean "I never lose," not stain the word -- it is not of the four-letter variety, and should not become so. The word is valid, as is the concept it is meant to represent. People acting in good faith in this regard need to take this term back with a quickness.
To be blunt, I see some folks talking a good game in this thread and hitting all the right talking points that I've also seen repeatedly act horribly re: 'I can never be scared/lied to/intimidated/disadvantaged in any fashion/etc.' which makes the whole thread something of an exercise in frustration.
This stuff only ever changes if people start walking that walk; the talk isn't going to make the world a better place on its own. 
Additional point of frustration: any time one of these discussions comes about, from a collaborative perspective, it is a chance for brainstorming. Personally, I love that. I love coming up with ideas with someone. If everyone is working from the same information and honest and up front re: their intentions, even 'bad' situations for a character can be enjoyable to explore as a player.
Are they always? No.
Is that avoidable? No.
It is still possible to reach a far more reasonable and mutually enjoyable outcome by acting in good faith than it is when folks behave otherwise.
For anyone who has not seen this quirky company as yet, I would like to share with you: The Whiskey River Soap Company.
I wish this was not pink, because then it would be an ideal substitute for 'Imaginary World Problems' (aka M*ing).
...is also worthy of note.
@pyrephox The main issue I have with that writeup is the 'get people to cooperate' line. (Irony points!)
All examples of things someone may be trying to 'get people to cooperate' with:
...and I think we can all reasonably agree these asks are not all equal within any sensible system, and not even equal from one character to the next within that system.
@Thenomain Sometimes the bras aren't so bad. I mean, I'm not one of them, but there are a lot of bigger girls who find it more comfortable to wear one than not because of the way it helps distribute the weight. It sounds counterintuitive, but it's true of some.
Similarly, I'm stupid comfortable wearing a certain style of corset (under the boobs entirely, not propping them up under my chin or something). Literally more comfortable than I am buck naked in a tub full of bubbles. Anybody who has ever needed a back brace after an accident or to avoid strain at work hauling things around probably gets this one, and I've worn those, too, but frankly, I'm weird-made and a custom-fitted corset was infinitely more comfortable than that, and under clothes, it's not like anybody ever even knew it was there because it wasn't designed to forcibly alter my shape into something it isn't, but was instead made to support my back, because the generic wraps designed for that purpose were designed for a body very, very different than mine.
I suppose my anger is that damn near any time somebody hears this, I get the lecture about how I'm a misbegotten throwback trying to adhere to a damaging beauty standard and oh, mercy, have you seen those x-rays of bodies of women who grew up wearing those things and destroying their inner organs?! because they cannot conceive of any other possible way it might be, and that this attitude is as damaging, limited, and nonsensical as the notion that women all should have to wear such a thing for those very different and not OK reasons of yore.
But, well, anyway. For some people, a bra isn't so bad. Sometimes they're more comfortable. Not for me, but for some. Pointless trivia, it's a thing.
@kanye-qwest I think our mean streaks have clashed way more than they ever should have. I remember way back when, when we got along fine and just joked around about shit -- which was honestly fun. I really am sorry I let stupid nonsense fuck that up, my own stupid shit and whatever weird whisperings were afoot, and I do really mean that.
@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
@Kanye-Qwest said in RL Anger:
@Thenomain said in RL Anger:
Ties & Jackets > Bras & Heels. I don't know how women handle it.
By not being little bitches, mostly.
I...okay? I don't know how to respond to this.
I don't either, but for entirely different reasons. Namely: not nearly enough vodka.
@admiral I don't disagree with you at all about this.
I really don't want to know these kinds of things about the people I play with -- barring someone giving me a heads-up re: 'that person is a well-known creeper, be careful'.
I am especially not ever wanting to know about someone's RL dramas or traumas unless a friend needs me for a sounding board, about their own issue. I feel quite uncomfortable when hearing these things about third parties, and I do have massive regrets re: not telling anyone who has disclosed these kinds of things to me to stop. I should have, it was wrong of me to not do that, and I'm preparing a 'please stop right there, this is not my business and I don't want to hear this' monologue or macro or something in case it should ever come up again.
@arkandel I am actually liking it, indeed.
Also, for a war-focused society, the Klingons have the best art department ever, holy hot damn. Do you think it was something like Hitler a la Eddie Izzard?
@tanvia You are not alone on that one.
Worst part: the person I was playing with said it was the best writing they'd ever seen me do and was gushing about it for days.
...
Ever since, I've felt like a loser for not being able to write so well as I apparently write when I'm asleep.
@tinuviel Y'all have a tendency to splash or backsplash. It can't really be helped; it's physics.
But, y'know, as a result... we'd really rather not handle the exposed portions of the seat that have somebody else's potential splash on them unless we really have to.
(Worst are the guys who don't bother raising the seat and give none fucks about splash, though. 'cause we have to sit there every time... )
May want to define active, too; there are a few places around lately that are small but have things going on, and a few that are large with things going on.
@deadculture said in Book Recommendations:
Lions of Al-Rassan's ending made me smile a little.
I was weirdly relieved at the ending! He did such a damnably fine job of cliff-hanging the individual chapters that the book was almost physically impossible to put down until I got to the end, and that there really was an ending that felt whole and complete was, oddly, comforting and extremely satisfying. (It was also the first of his books I read, so I was still fighting with the worry that it might end on the same sort of note, begging the start to a series that might never be realized.)
@ganymede I think it's a little more complicated than that for many of us. Specifically, I'm referring to 'the ability to guard one's reputation' -- and social currency is a factor there.
If you don't really know many people very well, or haven't interacted with piles of people on games when they know, 'oh, hey, that was so-and-so', people don't necessarily know you well enough to discern the reality from the bullshit. This can be a real issue.
One dedicated whisper-gamer with half a dozen buddies can effectively cut off all avenues of RP for the player who has no one or only one or two players who actually know(s) them and would know the whispers are bullshit vs. the folks who don't know them and only know their buddy is claiming such-and-such is true.
This kind of thing happens all the time in the hobby, and it's incredibly corrosive. The best case outcome here is that person just plays with their one or two friends, or leaves without ever knowing about the toxic nonsense -- and then has to deal with going to other games wondering why people freeze up and freeze them out the moment they dare speak their name.
Anonymity and invisibility bites us in the ass here: you can see the wary look RL and inquire about it and address it and know the sources -- you are not oblivious to all but 'what's with the crickets?' that seems to come from out of the blue.
Not many people, in my experience, want or are willing to stand up to their friends about this kind of thing to even find out for themselves, let alone say, 'I haven't seen the problem with <person> you're describing,'[1] even when they do have personal experience that is contrary to the nastiness being expressed to them. People generally don't want to risk creating that conflict; we're not just risk-averse in RP sometimes re: death/loss/etc., as a group.