I play characters that as far as other folks would consider run the range from psychotocally dominating to very submissive.
I haven't had any complain about me doing it wrong because I don't structure their thoughts on "I am the submissive one" or "I am dominant in this." Normal thoughts in normal people don't usually work that way. For me if a character has a dominating personality is entirely based on how hard they are willing to fight to get what they want.
Highly driven characters might be very dominating, dragging their poor submissive partner along on something they are woefully unready for just because they want the other around. They may even make themselves feel better by belittling the other sometimes, but that doesn't mean they won't want to be held, or maybe even let the other partner tie them up during sexy times. They are just formost focused on either their needs or a goal that is bigger than the other person is in their life. Conversly others may seem submissive just because their priority is making the other happy.
If you set out from the start only thinking about how to make one person or the other dominant or submissive you're going to run into a lot of situations that just aren't going to make sense anymore and get stressed from having to act in ways that are non-intuitive.