RL Anger
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I think it really comes down to the idea if someone should reasonably want to be in that place. If it's 2 AM and you are sitting in a deserted park on a swing, it's pretty reasonable that you are not going to be taking up a spot smoking that anyone else will want to occupy that they can't otherwise. I don't disagree that it's asshole-ish to demand someone to leave.
Actually, even if it's noon and you are sitting on a swing and smoking a cigarette, it's still probably /asshole-ish/ to demand you leave. But if there are a bunch of families and kids around that are just looking over at you because they'd like to swing but they don't want to be next to your smoke-- You are probably also being an asshole.
#FreeFarfalla
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- Since my kid is an EDGELORD, when I asked him "why didn't you just give him 30 for the cheap phone and tell him when he has the better phone, you'll give him the $70 then? Don't pay for promises in cash, kiddo." his response was (basically) WTF DAD YOU THINK I'M A FAILURE, U DONT GET IT, AUGH, BlackVeilBridesMyChemicalRomance!!!
Which of the two of you would teenage @Ghost have sided with?
Love that kid, with all my heart, but he can be so dumb.
When we were teens we all were. It sounds like your son was trying to buy street cred as much as a phone.
Worst case scenario here he spent $70 of your money to learn a life lesson, right?
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ha. At least it is a pretty harmless lesson that he can carry with him through later years. (Totes reply to your kid: you did kind of fail, son. That is an appropriate response, right? Always take my parenting advice; i know everything based on never being around kids.)
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Oh, don't get me wrong, from his perspective I get it. I was a teen once and I thought I knew everything then. But, because he's an EDGELORD, he also believes that if the kid doesn't pony up with the $70 phone, that he can force the kid, through force or intimidation, to give him the cash back. This is a bad idea, but just like the bad idea of him going into a gentleman's agreement with a delinquent kid who thinks he's got street cred, it doesn't really dissuade him. EDGELORD gets stuff done
It's a lot like trying to get a rope around a runaway horse.
The money wasn't mine. It was birthday cash from my parents.
Delete the Hog Pit. It'll be fun.
I really don't understand He-Man -
Right. I agree with some of that. I'm not sure if it's asshole-ish if you stay when families want the public area. I think it's not nice, but not entitled. If that makes sense.
(PS. Y'all see what we did? We disagreed and no one called anyone's mother anything. This boys and girls is how you debate a topic)
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I was a teen once and I thought I knew everything then.
When I was a teen, I never gave anyone any money that I expected to get back.
My family had a rule: never loan money to friends. Any money given is a gift.
If you get something back, great. If not, you understood the consequences.
Not surprisingly, I rarely gave anyone any money. I had enough friends.
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Once gave a kid $8 to buy me a movie ticket and he ditched me, claiming I never gave him $8. Learned that lesson then.
My kid, has learned this lesson multiple times, but continues to believe that he can leverage his pimp hand into the business agreement, which usually ends with some kind of explosion.
Aaaah parenting.
Delete the Hog Pit. It'll be fun.
I really don't understand He-Man -
My kid, has learned this lesson multiple times, but continues to believe that he can leverage his pimp hand into the business agreement, which usually ends with some kind of explosion.
I was raised by Chinese immigrants. They punished ignorance harshly.
“It is better to live doing the things that you like. It is foolish to live within this dream of a world seeing unpleasantness and doing only things that you do not like.” -- Yamamoto Tsunetomo.
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So folks, I need your collective social wisdom.
... I know.
I was on the subway train heading home after work. There are two teenage-looking boys sitting across from me, holding hands and generally being physically (but not inappropriately for a public setting) intimate. There's also this third guy in a seat facing them who... well, it's hard to say what he was doing, which was my dilemma. He was smirking for most of the trip - but that could have just been his face - and I'm almost but not quite sure he was tsk'ing and shaking his head while looking at them... but I could be wrong. The idea I was getting without being 100% certain is he was expressing his disapproval for their gay-ness in passive aggressive ways, but he never actually confronted them or said anything in any way.
Dear MSB, what was the correct response here? (I did nothing)
- He who takes offense when not intended is a fool. He who takes offense when intended is a greater fool.
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Dear MSB, what was the correct response here? (I did nothing)
I wasn't there, but I am using my memory of the TTC trains.
Sounds like there may have been a spot next to them. I would have sat there, if I could, and glared at the man across from the two, just as he was looking at them. If he asked what my problem was, I would tell him: it's not polite to stare.
I would hope the irony wasn't lost.
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Without knowing if he was actually expressing disapproval or not (and I have been in those situations where I didn't know), I usually give them a chance to prove themselves dicks or not. I usually speak up and ask calmly but firmly, 'Is there a problem, sir?'
He will either say no, and look at me funny, maybe, but the couple could have some relief that the guy was thinking about something else maybe or just didn't realize how he was coming off. Or he's lying and either way, now he's been called out and might get the hint.
Or, he will say yes, in which case, well. I tend to go off on people like that, verbally.
Either way, the couple has someone to speak up for them, which is the good thing. Same with @Ganymede's answer.
#FreeFarfalla
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@Ghost Why do I feel like your son would end up in a very special episode of Burn Notice?
"If you stand for nothing Burr, what will you fall for?"
-- Hamilton: An American Musical -
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Without knowing if he was actually expressing disapproval or not (and I have been in those situations where I didn't know), I usually give them a chance to prove themselves dicks or not. I usually speak up and ask calmly but firmly, 'Is there a problem, sir?'
This is one of those things that I try to backwards-think. Such as, if this were a man and woman (the opposite situation) holding hands and he was smirking at them, what would your supposition of the reason of his smirk be then?
I try to gauge my reactions based on both angles. Maybe one of the boys had burned him with a witty quip and the baffoon was still trying to think up a snazzy comeback. You don't know.
My thought? Don't police someone based on your suppositions of their thoughts. It's just asking for drama that no one needs.
If he had /said/ something, light into the fucker with both barrels, but don't put spark people into hating the guy because he had an issue with the shirt one of the persons was wearing, or whatever.
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Without knowing if he was actually expressing disapproval or not (and I have been in those situations where I didn't know), I usually give them a chance to prove themselves dicks or not. I usually speak up and ask calmly but firmly, 'Is there a problem, sir?'
This is one of those things that I try to backwards-think. Such as, if this were a man and woman (the opposite situation) holding hands and he was smirking at them, what would your supposition of the reason of his smirk be then?
Except those two examples have nothing really to do with each other and are totally different situations? Opposite-sex couples don't regularly get disgust thrown at them for existing in public.
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@Roz Apologies, you're right. My focus of my response was more toward assumptions of what was being thought rather than my counter-example. I could have chosen a better one, sure.
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My thought? Don't police someone based on your suppositions of their thoughts. It's just asking for drama that no one needs.
I wasn't. My solution is to stare right back. Maybe the fellow doesn't realize he's staring, as you've pointed out. But, if he is, and he has something to say, he'll say it when challenged.
Bigots look for ways to exhibit their bigotry. Always.
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Unexpected performance poetry with no escape route.
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It's hard to say. I mean he could have been smirking and tsking and shaking his head because 'young love'. You know, we all have those moments of ewww they are holding hands. Or something like that. It might have been the same if they were straight.
If you are concerned. Yeah. I would have plopped down near the couple and probably engaged them in friendly conversation. If they were willing. A friendly way to show solidarity without upping the aggression game.
I think it's hard to decide and it doesn't mean what I would do is the right thing to do either.
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Dear MSB, what was the correct response here? (I did nothing)
Generally I am the opposite of conflict avoident but in this case I think the right answer is to do nothing.
One if he never said anything it could just be his face has a resting smirk. This should shock no one but my resting facial expression leads people to think I am angry and upset when I am emotionally neutral or bored. So unless he actually said or did something it could be something like that so any response is actually starting something where there was none.
