Best posts made by Macha

I am just glad you could find a place, Cobalt.

If I didn't have roommate coming in (buddy I've known for over a decade, she got a job here in my city after she lost hers to Covid from a city 1.5 hours away. So all the hunting has fallen to me, to go see things, etc. She also works the night shift remote for now, so yeah, I'm the daylight person), I would SO already be living in some tiny studio.

They have studios here that cost as much as my share of rent here, with utilities included. And gods know all of my stuff would easily fit in a studio.

sigh I am just hoping one of these places soon will just accept us. We're offering first, last, security, and if need me, an additional month's rent in advance.

I've been angry/emotional just a ton, lately.

Angry at myself, most of all. I'm supposed to be working a second job, to make extra cash. I had to take time off, because I was just losing my shit. And yes, I'm angry at myself for not working 13 hours a day, feeling unable to, etc.

Angry at myself for not being able to give people the RP I think they expect/deserve.

Angry at every apartment complex I have applied to, that can't fucking send a text, email, or call me to tell me we didn't get the place.

Angry at all the stupid ads I'm getting about celebrating Father's day, and feeling like absolute shit, because I keep getting teared up and crying over all of it.

Angry at work, for penalizing my raise because I had to miss 4 (yes FOUR) days last fall because three people DIED in my family.

Angry at myself for being broken and not able to work out like I feel like I should be able to, in my head (Listen, my brain wants to think I'm still 25, can work three jobs, and somehow have a semi social life, okay? It will not accept the fact I have three (Well, now they think four) auto immune diseases that keep me in too much pain to act like a wild child anymore.) I've lost 30 pounds since December, possibly more at this point, and yet I'm still mad at myself.

Angry at my therapist for leaving the practice, and that it's taking forever for me to be able to get in to see ANYONE. Because clearly, I need to get back to seeing someone.

@crawfish Alas, I have cases waiting to be enrolled. NYC can't handle their workload, so it gets shoveled onto me in my much smaller office.

@ganymede said in RL things I love:

@macha
I like my reds like I like my women: firm, full-bodied, and able to punch the shit out of you.

I won't lie. I laughed out loud at this.

@arkandel terrible, terrible dog parent. (I kid)

Today I taunted my dog about his morning out and treat routine, because he decided to spend all night out in the other room with my guest, instead of coming to snuggle with me at bedtime. Of course, she was awake all night, working, so he could get them sweet 4am belly rubs. So.. I get it.

Still gonna tell him he's cheating on his momma.

@eye8urcake And here I was thinking my town of 140-150k is too small.

@wizz I have a weird stance on this. Like there's part of me that wants to just roll my eyes and be like... did it to themselves.

And then there's the other (thankfully more dominant) part of me, that realizes some people can not break habits for a million reasons. I can't quit caffeine. I mean, I've been 'clean' for a couple of weeks, a couple of times, after hospital stints for surgery and things... but I always go back.

If I wasn't tapped out with moving, I would try to give something. I hope they get what they need, so no one is left crushed with medical debt.

@rinel I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

Yes, all caps excited.

@ganymede I will now add this to my 'bar cart' wishlist ...not that I have a bar cart. Yet.

#Newplacegoals

I hurt already. There's still so much to do. If I can just get it all done by Saturday, I can spend Sunday blissfully high to stay out of pain and recover for work on Monday

@ominous said in 2021 E3 Hype:

Well, you better Starbuckle up,

This is gold.

@arkandel Thank the gods that's not me. I don't know if it's just I've been on unemployment and short term disability before, so I don't want anyone to suffer, or if it's my ODD just flipping off the fucking assholes who try to tell me how they don't want to 'pay for those who won't work' or what.

Yeah. People I helped train in this last year, got promoted. Someone my boss had to take work from, because they weren't getting it done, and gave it to me? They got promoted a tier.

Me? nope. Why? Because in Dec/Jan, my depression and ADHD made it super hard for me to get focused and started first thing in the morning. My boss KNEW it, I went to him about it because I have a LIFE LONG problem with December and January with my depression (Deaths in the family, esp my mother's when I was 3, and my father's behavior in December for that reason every year thereafter until he passed).

Now, my work was still getting done every day, by the end of the day. I was by no means slacking off. They just didn't like the optics of the late start, and then working like a demon (thanks hyperfocus) in the afternoon.

And now they want me to be on the 'Sunshine Squad'? To help get the team to interact more, and to help lift spirits, blah blah blah bullshit? I don't fucking think so.

@tributary I haven't been fired or laid off. I just got screwed over, and there was an email that showed me how badly I got screwed over.

And I'm hoping to find a fully remote position, because fuck the office.

I've been hanging in there, during the move, for the most part. Still getting up and doing things, even when I wasn't feeling it.

Today though.. my body said /no/. Sugars crashed and took longer than normal to recover, my stomach is being annoying, and no matter how much water/etc I try, my head aches.

Now to try and not feel guilty for not doing anything today.

@derp Which I am dealing with today. It says my new debit card is to be delivered today... but it's past 5pm, and there is no mail in our mailbox. WTF.

I did the dumbest shit today.

They changed my short acting insulin pen. It is now gray...as is my long term acting insulin pen.

guess who gave herself the wrong stuff?

So now I sit here, drinking juice until my stomach hurts, praying. I can't afford the hospital.

Dr Doctor's office.

Please stop telling me I have to be there 15 minutes early, if the person I am SEEING isn't even in the building.

Legit. They had to tell me she was running late and wasn't even there yet.

Well, while I am less than enthused that she just doubled the does of Wellbutrin that never did much of anything for me, she has agreed to start the testing so if the upped dose doesn't work, I can try the stimulant route.

I wish it was real, but the comedian did a great job, because at first glance they look the same

@mietze I guess my problem is that the 10 year old is doing the child care, with his mother bedridden and 'drop ins' by another adult.

This... for some reason it made me twitch.