Posts made by Macha

@Wretched I feel this. Like having your 12th, 13th, and 16th birthdays forgotten. (Kid sister was born 10 days before my 12th, her first was just before my 13th, baby sister was born on my 15th birthday (but I had a bag of presents dropped on me as she left for the hospital), and since it was her first, I didn't so much as get a card for my 16th birthday). I basically ceased to exist on Christmas.

This past Christmas is the first since way back then, that all the kids were treated pretty equally. OF course, my kid sister is going to have her first kid, and my father is gone, so this year... I'll be surprised to be asked to come eat with them for Christmas dinner.

@Pandora Thank you for the story I did not know I needed.

I've definitely taken concepts, even the general 'look' of a character. But I 'ported' my character from 1963 to ESH, and even in that the character changed in background and attitude. I don't know if I could bring someone over completely and keep them the exact same. It would be weird.

@Wolfs Except I think Cole IS one of the owners of Halo corp, and was at one point, the only acting owner of it. He may not have Founded it, but neither did Bruce Wayne, etc etc. So I mean, if someone bought into a corporation enough to be one of the owners, shouldn't they at least be able to claim access to it? I don't think ShelBeast was saying it was all his to play with, just have access to some of the toys that Cole uses in Canon? (I could be wrong).

It seems a little skewed, if this is the case.

Dear Boss,

It's funny how what isn't acceptable for me, is for everyone else. And no, if I am not leaving my desk, I don't NEED to lock my computer. When you call me out for something 'wrong' in an email I sent 60 seconds ago, and IGNORE the one I send you telling you I'm having a sugar crash, you just confirm you're a C U Next Tuesday.

So after high anxiety ALL WEEK ...today it's like it fucking jumped off a cliff, after there was high drama in the old townhome last night. I think one of my roommates is making my anxiety worse, so.. yay for the move plan I have in place? (And no stairs in the new place)

@Lotherio Your mother lovebone brought me back to "Say Hello 2 Heaven" By Temple of the dog.
Also: In your Eyes by Peter Gabriel.

Dire Straits - So far away, and Brothers in arms
The Cure - Burn
Gary Allan - Life ain't always beautiful.
Hozier - Arsonist's Lullabye.

My anxiety has been running at red line levels this week. I feel having that whole shaking, can't breathe, heart racing like it's going to explode thing... and of course, this is the week my therapist is out of town.

My boss. This position is mostly her sitting in meetings and her hounding us about clocking in and out of Auxes on time. She doesn't do my job, and never has. She doesn't have any more training in my job than I do, and if there is a question, she will just tell you to reach out to the person you know you need to ask, but you still have to ask her first.

She's also an IT moron. When there's a script window popping up and running again and again all day, when it should run once at start up and that's it - AND it's mucking up workflow, that's a problem. When it's doing it about 8-10 times an hour, that's a serious problem. She doesn't understand one program from another.

Also, if I'm marked away, and it's my break time? NO I AM NOT answering your fucking texts. FUCK OFF

@surreality I wish I could upvote this a million.

@surreality There are some nice guns that are compact for smaller hands (I am thinking you are a lady, which is why I say this). I don't know where you live, so I don't know the gun laws. But yeah. There are nice guns small enough to take around. All the love.

So... where do we put RL guilt/shame posts. I mean, I'm annoyed with myself. I spoke to my stepmother last night (today is her birthday, and then there's mother's day. Since I live an hour away, I can't go see her today), and of course my father came up in the conversation. He passed away several months ago, and of course we're all still grieving. But she started crying, saying how she felt guilty because she went to bed and didn't sleep on the couch the night he died (he was sleeping in his recliner, so he could control how much he was laying down/sitting up and that his oxygen was right there). He told her to go to bed. He told her good night, sleep tight. And I told her she can't do this to herself. I said "Woulda, coulda, shoulda, Mom. He knew what he was doing. He took off his oxygen, he didn't call for help." (I firmly believe he was tired of hospitals and struggling to 'get back to normal'. He hated feeling weak. I also believe he chose to send her to bed, told her he loved her, and waited until she'd be asleep before he took his oxygen off and ...let go, to be poetic). I know I told her the logical thing. And I can't hug her and let her cry over the phone. But now I feel like a massive jerk, and I have no idea why I wrote this out here, but I did, so fuck it.

@surreality You make me scared and worried for you. I know that's not your intent, and not what you want, but Imma worry anyway (Like I do). I hope you can get this asshat dealt with soon and without more (much more) harassment.

@surreality Sweet baby cheezits. At least my stalkers only watched my house and in through my windows. Yeah, the gun starts looking better and better.

So I spoke to the supervisor. I was green lit to call her last night, called, she had a tenant emergency she was dealing with. I told her "That's fine, sure, you can call me back." (I could hear the commotion in the background. It did not sound pleasant). She calls me before my shift this morning, and yeah. No problem. You sign here, they sign there, boom, you're free to move. No requalifying, no extra charges, nothing.

@Taika I see you have met my dog. Yes, great deterrant.

@surreality Have you called your local police yet? Internet stalking/harassment is a thing they're starting to deal with. I don't know how much help they would be, but it might be a place to start. I'm sorry this is happening to you!

@Ganymede I understand she's trying to cover her butt, but she didn't check the form at all, and notice my name was nowhere on it. If they can sign the renewal just the two of them, and she didn't ask where my signature was, then there is no reason for this song and dance.

I hope you all find some way to make it work. I'll send good vibes!

@Ganymede I super appreciate the help. It's amazing how quickly she was willing to get her supervisor in touch with me when I mentioned I called legal aid (which I did) .