Best posts made by mietze

No, but you are saying that anything people RP should be construed as them condoning it or supporting it in RL. That is the sentiment I strongly object to. Because someone seeks out or is untroubled by other people exploring themes such as abuse, violence, ostracization, loss of humanity/family or what have you in fiction and "play" in no way means they condone or wish to lure others into experiencing it in RL.

D/s is no more special than any of that other stuff. And yes, people will get it "wrong". I have to bite my lip a lot of times at all the extremely abused child grows up into a sparkly adult with no adaptive behaviors except they like to be spanked by daddy/mommy before they're fucked and tickled with feather bgs I've had to read over the years. Or the portrayal of well adjusted beautiful streetwalkers. Or people with 2 sets of twins and triplets that still have the time and energy to go do their secret supernatural underworld duties too.

Those people are not condoning the idea that a childhood of molestation and neglect is something that everyone can overcome by tightening their bootstraps. They are not condoning child neglect. They are not condoning human trafficking as a benign form of sexual empowerment. Most people when confronted with that stuff RL would have appropriate reactions to it.

People whose idea of ghoul play involves slapping around and sexual dominance play or treating the ghoul as an unequal member of that society do not act that way RL by and large. Are there some, yes, but dollars to donuts they were like that before they ever mushed and probably on a mush they're likely to also meet people who have gotten out and can offer real btdt support vs looking down on them for RPing whatever it is they're playing.

I helped put my rapist/abuser behind bars. I don't particularly care for RPing out forceful holding against ones will explicitly because of that experience. But that is me, and my unique reaction, and if someone rps that stuff because it's a fantasy and they have no clue, if I believed in God I would get down on my knees and praise it because that person is just enjoying a fantasy and like a normal person does not know nor want to experience it RL. And if it is someone who has btdt or come close, if that is how they process or it doesn't bug them, then more power to them and I feel no need to trample them on my high horse and call them an abuse advocate, any more that they should think it would be okay to tell me that if I wasn't such a big coward then I wouldn't be reluctant to play it.

Rp and fiction can be escapist, it can be educational, it can be exploratory in a way that talking about RL cannot, it can be pushing the boundaries or just trying something on for shits and giggles without someone actually taking a bat/fist to you. Whether that is getting to play the vigilante who kills the bad guy the cops can't get, stealing from the man, literally blowing that slow driver out of the left lane, putting on a sex show at a club, being the cop/social worker who actually does get to be the hero and rescue people using their super powers/making a great roll and being one step ahead of the action the ST has planned--whatever.

Mushing can be a reflection of RL. It is not RL. And what people play is not what they condone or even believe is right/correct/good. Nor should it be, unless they wish to play that, IMO.

@skew said:

I also can't stand the OOC angst, anger, snide comments, etc, that I've seen an OCC/RL partner pull, when the other partner's IC persona is flirted with!

I don't know. I've seen that far more strong/toxic from online-only people than I ever have with MUing couples (though of course there are exceptions). But all the most crazy ass attacking people for messing with their "wo/man" and +where stalking and all that? Almost exclusively online only people.

Maybe "A good RPer can turn either a long or a short pose into something that the others in the scene can interact with, it's the involvement with the other PCs and paying attention to what's going on as well as the others in the scene that can make or break it." Or somesuch.

Because yes, there are people who can spew 3 paragraphs about the wind rippling their hair and their eyes gazing into the distance and all that stuff (seen it) while totally ignoring most everyone else in the scene. They kind of suck. However, you can also have people who are needing to info dump and must spam because there's no way around it or they're a bit on the flowery side but do very obviously care about/pay attention in the scene even beyond themselves. They're kinda awesome.

I suspect that people may be wincing at something listed in the "Rules of good RPing" that seems to indicate the longer the better. I do think that a two word pose being your only contribution ever indicates poor RPing, but the converse is really not very true.

I don't know why it's so hard for people to just say "oh darn, this person wasn't able to be here oocly, well, let's just assume they were prevented from acting by something unforeseen until we have a chance to talk." Bob not there because he had to wander off to take a dump in the woods/deal with another emergency patient npc/didn't make it back from the kegger run in time" is way different from "you abandoned your post IC/you decided to abandon these pcs ICly."

One is not stopping the action (I've played on places where you'd be time stopped for things like that) but also allowing for an out that doesn't give the player no input into how they would have acted.

It's a good compromise that doesn't get anyone stuck waiting. It's also oocly collegial.

The other in essence means that it's not you that controls your PC at all, unless you're on 24/7 others can make up the IC narrative and your actions as soon as you're logged off. (Maybe that would also encourage people to always plan their pvp actions by checking who list and using that as a tool...oh no wait. )

This isn't always the case, but far too often "house rules" tend to be a reaction to one abusive person, rather than dealing with that person directly and swiftly.

Now I kind of want to create a female PC and name her Penisse.

Yeah, this is where I think I step out of the conversation, too.

I am a trauma survivor. I understand very well the nature of triggers (not in the anti-SJW sense, but like...the real professional sense). I understand very well how innocent or offhand references made by other people or suddenly confronting it in text or other media form can really be devastating, even if you are capable of holding it together.

But asking me to be prepared to deal with other people's trauma, who I am not close to at all, and making it my as a scene runner responsibility to navigate it for them, when they are incapable or unwilling to communicate beyond very impersonal slotted in advance ways...honestly, that is a fucking trigger for ME, as the caretaker child of a physically and emotionally abusive mentally ill alcoholic parent in a culture where image was everything and the weight of responsibility of family livelihood and community standing rested on my ability to solve the problem/keep the mentally ill person on an even keel/manage their experience and minimize their destructiveness to everyone else.

It is very VERY easy to get sucked into online, especially with so many other trauma surviving folks as part of the community. But honestly, that expectation kind of makes me want to hurl. It's not something I ever EVER want to do again, it's one of the things that drove me out of MUSHing in the first place, and dealing with those kinds of folks is probably what will keep me away in the future, at least as someone who runs anything or has close contact with folks I don't know (which to me lessens the appeal of the hobby, as I love meeting new people/new thought and approaches and creative minds are exciting).

It is simply not worth the risk of having someone try to make me responsible for managing their trauma, or putting the onus on me or I'm the bad person. I need equal partners who respect boundaries.

I believe Elfbian Mafia comes from the original Shadowrun Seattle MUX. Where a sizable chunk of the Ancients street gang (all Elf) were lesbians, played mostly by guys, for a time.

Later it morphed into the Ancients and the Yakuza fucking each other (not in the rival racist hatred mongering way, but like, PIV way), which was kind of OOCly hilarious.

Just goes to show you that it's not only WoD where people will break every single thematic thing whatsoever to just get it on.

This would have been in early-to-mid 90s. Yeah, told you I was old.

I am so glad that years of mushing before and after I became a parent has trained me to be used to finding some people's stupid, adolescent, clumsypuppy drama whore antics strangely both simultaneously endearing and make me want to go over and kill them. It serves me well in parenting 3 teen boys.

And as I said before, yes...many players who are not so great and/or who are extremely stingy with involving others but are willing to shoehorn themselves into every scene or who constantly are dogging admin via all ways (vs the channels you are "supposed" to) often are extremely involved in metaplot.

It is very hard when metaplot access and advancement can only be tracked by one or two staffers on a large game in particular, if they have no external organization. Even a staffer with no life outside of the game can get overwhelmed and burnt out having to answer everything. Yet answers even to little snippets can be a real encouragement to the individual player. They're not much fun to do when you are the staffer having to write similar things or respond to 50 of the same question.

Please no wiki of people. That went way off the rails in the last iteration, into grossness.

@Arkandel yes, people are seeking closure that is simply never going to happen. I count myself in that, because I'm stupid. And yet, also human. However, I have seen this play out many times in RL, and also know it's part of the process. People will sort out eventually where they are most welcome. But honestly, it's been like 2 months. For some people that's enough time, for others it won't be. Maybe I shouldn't care, but I do.

Al Franken. This is a heartbreaker for me.

Yeah I think I’m out. If your idea of good modding is calling people who request clarification and express genuine confusion children and implying they are stupid—I sure as hell wouldn’t stay on a game with staff like that.

Why would I stay here?

People who want to get in touch with me are free to, but having been part of this place since the beginning and WORA and SWOFA and all that stuff this is way too hard to see.

@derp @drama. I was kind of trying to take the day off but since I was around I didn't want gany to have to deal with it later.

And it was spotted by me because someone else pointed it out. It is super super helpful when folks notice to report or pm us, we both do the best we can but we both have busy jobs and families so.

Scientology is much more boring than I thought it’d be.

I’m not sure that someone who egregiously cheated or who was vile in their harassment deserves their privacy protected.

I'm sure in many cases it is all about the sex, but I've found that "household" RP can be very rewarding but requires just as much maintenance/care as a good motley/coterie/ect.

I have been lucky in that even though for the most part while playing a ghoul I have had slutty domitors (whether or not this was known to me ICly or OOCly has been highly variable) for whatever reason I have almost always gotten on very well with the other thralls/ghouls. To the point one time where I think we pissed off the regnant because he kind of became secondary. (But I'm not sure what he expected not spending much time developing further RP ties/relationship while chasing more tail, while we were waiting around so decided to...you know...actually RP with each other, run things for each other, have fun in nonsexytimes ways which can be more bonding as a group really. I think it took us a couple of weeks to notice that he'd not logged in for awhile.)

However, I have seen some really craptastic drama go down in other groups. Especially if the "leader" doesn't bother to outline expectations/realities very clearly, or they do things against the way they said they would. (For example, if it was agreed at the outset that all members of the "household" get a say in adding someone new to the stable, and she or he decides just this one time to admit this other person who's very nice to them but is a real asshole drama queen/king to everyone else behind the leader's back, ect.)

So if someone did not want to share in a pick-up/strangers situation, I can understand that. I have seen non sexual groups totally destroyed by the admittance of one drama hound.

I actually with the right people prefer a household/stable, to be honest. I don't have a huge amount of time and my timezone seems off kilter with the east-coast centric playbase at a lot of places. I do not like hoverers or hovering. If I get along with someone well enough to consider playing a ghoul with them, then chances are I will like other people that they enjoy the RP styles of, so if they can loop in more people for me to play with (or vice versa!) that I already know are compatible with someone else I enjoy, then why not?

It only becomes a problem of time (if someone has very little time, divvying it up with folks who don't share well with others would not be my first choice) or personality (sadly, there are a minority of people who really are nasty to people who they perceive as OOC competition, no matter how untrue that is).

Homemade chex mix!

I think it’s better for all concerned to have a truthful, simple, short and clear explanation for the ban in all circumstances.

It prevents a lot of issues.

Bob was banned because of x incidents of inappropriately using ooc info IC. Please see our policy of x (if there is one). If you have questions or need a gut check about your own behavior in this regard please feel free to reach out to staff.

I think when I have seen silence or “face saving” explanations allowed to be given for someone being asked to leave, it tends to stir up more upset or in some cases allows that person to act as if nothing happened/no cause.

That’s not really good for anyone in that situation.