Posts made by mietze

@faraday will there be detailed depictions of the wound/violence, sounds, smells, npc background reactions?

There is a difference between "Private Jass takes a bullet to the head and falls, obviously dead" and describing who gets splattered, flailing, gore, ect. I know when I ask about graphic preferences, it is fleshed out detail that I am referencing, not the basic stuff with the rest left up to the player's imagination.

Just like some people are deeply bothered by visuals, some folks have a hard time with written details of certain subject matter. Petsonally I love reading horror fiction including detailed content but do not watch graphic visual films (still images don't bother me). I know for others and their brain wiring they are quite the opposite.

As a GM, it's just as easy to have exit hatches for people in your scene, if not easier, than trying to label every possible trigger or undesirable content that might come up. That way if something does come up, you can extricate that person immediately with little fanfare. The non-disruptive players I've dealt with always appreciate that, they don't want to become the focus of everything when they need to go. The people who get off on disrupting things don't get what they want (and usually don't come no another plot of mine or ask me to run things for them ever again, which is fine with me.)

I think honestly, if you are running an intense-content scene for randos or open invite, as a GM you're a bit crazy if you don't give yourself some breathing room to deal with people who wander away from the keyboard/have emergencies/become disruptive/need to unexpectedly GTFO. I can't say that I've needed it /frequently/ but when those situations have come up it's been the best gift I gave myself as a storyteller.

I dunno if this has been mentioned elsewhere but my teens still at home bought Ring Fit to play on the switch and are now super obsessed with it. So it might be a run way to get a little more exercise in if you typically don't. It does look super fun.

@arkandel why would WoD be "safe", what with its themes of rape, mind control, domestic abuse, human trafficking, incest, potential pedophilia at worse and certainly statutory rape in many of its lines?

If someone wants to do history they can do what most WoD game runners do to one extent or the other: be clear about what is/isn't permitted or supported and enforce it (or not.)

I think the problem is that people are often too uncomfortable to describe and hold their line, and instead rely on people to read their minds OR just never make them enforce it and they just don't have to "see" any drift. The problem is that people are not mindreaders and bad people can often use that to their advantage and even if you are just a lowly prp runner there probably will come a time when you must defend and uphold the boundaries you've set. Neither is fun. Which is why I think lip service is common, avoidance tends to be the rule. Its just not easy to take that on when you're already doing a lot as a runner, but imo its often something you must. Even if that's just giving a complainer the boot.

I'm not sure one can point to many points in history where there were not bad consequences for writers who wrote against the prevailing norms or offended the powers that be. Sure in some cases things changed over time but rarely to save the writer. I'm not going to say that death, torture, mutilation, or imprisonment is always worse than online harassment or people calling you names and not wanting to associate with you--im sure for some people the pain of being told that another person thinks they're wrong or racist or whatever is acutely painful, and if hundreds plus people are doing it at the same time along with threats that it can be harrowing and very intense pain. Especially when often innocent people in your life are roped in (though that too is "historically accurate").

But I do have to shake my head at the notion that creativity is more stifled today than in the past. With the increase of diversity and also more ways for people to get unedited or reviewed stuff out there for consumption it seems like there's more avenues for you to get your thoughts and ideas and writing projected out than ever before.

Maybe not by the places you most crave or tp tbe accolades you wish, and not quite as much to tbe detriment of ideas/people you don't like, but.

When I write stories (single author, just me) I understand that any risks I take or mistakes in representation are my responsibility. Maybe I'll choose to channel my inner edgelord, which I do sometimes, maybe I won't, but that's a decision I get to make. If I then put that up for public consumption, then I'm also signing on to criticism.

If I as a middle-aged biracial-but-white-passing-for-the-most-part lady decide that I'm going to write a story centered around a black family who grabs their bootstraps to come up in society and finds shelter with a kind MAGA family who helps them to see that really if they would stop seeing color they'd finally find success and wealth, and then I decide to publish it and then cry loudly about how the black cultural community center won't let me hold a reading there and nobody seems interested in my tale of how they can improve themselves--I mean maybe I should have expected that, a little. My creativity wasn't impinged at all--I already wrote what I wanted to. It's just that not everyone liked it. I'm sure there'd be plenty of other people who would be happy to give me a platform to whine about reverse racism, even. Well, maybe I'd have a better shot if I was hot or something.

You don't get to make people like your content. You don't even get to accept that they have to accept it. (just like some people reject any notion of "sensitivity".)

If you want to create Realistic Historical Mush and want to include rape/human trafficking/slavery/racism/genocide, I mean no one is going to stop you, you might find less of an audience than you want (or you don't like the audience that shows up for it because they think it's lame they don't get to do those things elsewhere--even if it wasn't a focus for your vision, many people will steer clear and other people will come FOR the fact that you proclaim that 'historical accuracy without modern sensibilities' is a point of pride).

If you decide to create a character on a mush that doesn't allow people to create prostitute/pimp characters or any reference to that sort of thing, and that's made very clear, it's not stifling your creativity to not allow you to be the only exception or to find a workaround. If anything, if you really have trouble stepping out of your pimp/prostitute rut, maybe it will inspire more creativity as you need to think outside of your usual box. And if you can't or don't want to, that's okay! Nothing wrong with wanting to play a pimp/prostitute, IMO. You just need to find a place where it's supported.

I find a lot of people I have personally seen on mushes in particular who balk at "stifling my creativity" are more wanting to not have to abide by the rules laid out by the mush. Or in the case of writing in general they don't like hearing about other people's anger/discomfort/hurt at how they might have chosen to wrote something. But that is kind of a risk one takes when one takes their private writings for their own edification/enjoyment and sends them forth for other people to consume.

Social tastes change. I can see it even in my own tastes in music/humor/ect. Julie Brown's Homecoming Queen's Got a Gun and several of her other songs are nostalgic and super funny to me, but understandably probably pretty not so funny to people younger than me or who grew up in different circumstances especially in the era of school mass shootings, and victims being harassed for being deep state false flag actors. It wasn't until I started watching films from the 80s that I loved as a kid with my own now late teens/young adult kids that I realized how rapey many of them were (or even stuff from the 60s and 70s). What was considered fine in the 90s is different than today, when it comes to cultural content in roleplaying games largely written for and by white people. I assume that things will be even more different when my youngest kid (now 6) is in his 20s.

And if you as a GM really do not give a shit about any player triggers or whatever, no matter what, fair enough. But it really doesn't harm anything for you to say "if you come to one of my scenes you get what you get and I don't care to hear if its something you find you don't want to play out or be notified of any discomfort, it won't change anything anyway."

While I don't have a "fuck you and any sensibilities you might have, keep them to yourself" disclaimer, I have absolutely told people that the scene will go on even if there's a dropout (usually around idling times), there will be graphic violence (i don't do graphic sensual themes unless the players are known anymore), ect. And then I follow through.

I find the vast majority of people will self select out if they have an issue with my parameters, and if someone throws a fit, then they are just removed. Having the policy of removal rather than stoppage and realistic disclosure has allowed me to have pretty no holds barred storytelling (there's really only one subject that is a no go for me, but its usually a non issue on any mush I care to play) when I've wanted to do an intense or graphic story. (Which isn't all the time.)

But I guess that's easier for me since I do tend to note other folks' prefs/remember discussions about what they like/don't and there are certain people i will not include in intense scenes even if they had said its okay, because its not worth the risk imo. I would say thats impossible to expect or do for strangers or people without much interaction to know. Its just not a realistic expectation to have that people who do not know you are going to deduce what you don't want, or that you can read people accurately most of the time.

To me its all about the risk I'm willing to take on as a storyteller for aggravation or ooc drama or hurt. I tend to save the intensity until I know that its less likely to cause upset, because even if I don't particularly care for that person, it is an energy suck that is not fun if i guess wrong.

I do not think it's realistic for a prp runner or staffer at a medium to large game to keep track of individual triggers. Some people have a social gift for doing so, but it doesn't come naturally for a lot of people.

I do think it harms nothing to give a content disclosure for graphic gore/violence or sexual content (rape, seductive NPCs, detailed descriptions of sexual activity in the background or foreground). I also think its good as a GM to always have a parachute out for a player that is non disruptive as possible either because a lot of unexpected issues can come up whether that's a trigger or needing to bail for a family emergency or a migraine/gutbuster diarrhea/someone has a kid throwing up type of situation. One person bailing shouldn't disrupt the scene as callous as that sounds and I find that genuine people are relieved by that and the problematic people don't pull that shit when they realize it won't deep six everything.

Why a video that includes kind of gross dismissal of trans folks along with other issues, something i suppose i should be prepared to deal with here by now but is nevertheless disappointing, needs to be used to initiate that discussion (which has been initiated many times here and is a good thing to have imo, multiple times) I dunno. I guess it does unintentionally illustrate why its so hard to have real discussions like that on a game though and how easy to slip up and forget known experiences of others.

Hence why I think that its good to have no harm no foul parachutes for any given scene and disclose level of graphicness and common squicks. If someone is using it as a way to escape consequences it can be noted and passed on to deal with by other means, that kind of issue will never be deal with in any given scene anyway.

@silverfox I got a really annoying medication alarm on my phone that will keep buzzing every 10 minutes after a certain time until I click it and then confirm that I've taken that medication. It was super helpful but that probably depends on the person.

to add a cherry on top to an already shitty day in my stressful life, I just got rear ended at a red light on my way home this evening. Thank god not hard enough to even deploy airbags (people haul ass on that road so i'm lucky). It was just enough to bend up my trunk, not just do in the bumper. Bumpers I can deal with. But this means my car is out for awhile once I get it fixed and I'm just struggling pretty hard with not crying my eyes out. I don't have the time. my head hurts. i work in a job that requires significant labor which means if this isn't just adrenaline then maybe i'll be out unpaid (i don't get pto at my job), and i'm not sure how to make my healthcare premium payment if i miss too much work (it takes 75 percent of my paycheck to insure my family, it's pretty much the only reason why I work, it's still cheaper than buying it on the market).

I don't know. today sucked.

@greenflashlight lucky!!!

So like if you are in the Seattle area (or maybe even beyond) and do grocery shopping at QFC it might be work checking out today, mine had giant spiral sliced hams on sale for 67 cents per pound. I don't shop a lot in the meat section these days but when I rolled by that I said "whaaaaaaaaaaaat" apparently a lot louder than I intended and made the two burly dudes at the meat counter giggle out loud. A holiday sized ham for less than 8 bucks!!

Tonight at pickup the parents of a kid notified the director that they found out yesterday they were exposed to someone outside their family who has tested positive, and that they'd be picking up their kid early tomorrow because the whole family was going to get tested now. When pointed to the health and safety policy, flimsy ass paper shield that it is, that has been in place since they first enrolled their kid they got pissed off, and said why should they not be able to use the daycare, if their kid doesn't have a fever.

Since the center I work at is a shitty corporate one, we have no janitorial service (the closers like me decontaminate stuff every nigh with our cheap ass stuff), and one break room that is not legally large enough for more than 1 person to be at a time as well as a single bathroom for the entire staff of 30. Did I mention that we have no sick leave, no PTO, no paid holidays, and if the center closes (as we will need to, for 2 weeks, if anyone in that family tests positive) nobody gets paid?

All because some entitled shitty people decided to not follow the quarantine policy if they travelled out of state (as per local health guidelines, also posted prior to thanksgiving) and didn't know to just lie about exposure. I guess I could have more empathy if this was a struggling family. They're not. They just don't want to hire a nanny. (They regularly flout pick up times/center closing time too, and laugh off the late fee, 'oh, is that it? that's cheaper than the hourly rate of the daycare at my gym!')

I guess it's better than the other center in my town operated by the same corporation, who had a mom who /had covid/ bring her kid in for days because she needed the rest, without notifying staff of her infection, until the kid was sent home one day for developing a fever during the day. (And no, that family wasn't kicked out either).

I'm not terribly worried about getting the virus from this incident because it's in a class way far away from me, I am religious about masking and hand sanitizer and hand washing throughout the day, and I don't set foot in the breakroom. But I'm so fucking tired. And in my state, child care workers under the age of 60 don't get vaccinated until April.

I'm just sad, angry, depressed, incredulous at how fucking selfish people are. And honestly, I'm pretty sure we already have many more people who are sending their kids after known exposure, or ignoring travel quarantine policies, it's just that they're not so brazen as to not even try to lie about it. And you know, oddly enough, it's /never/ the parents working two jobs who actually probably do need to keep puttng their kids in daycare beause if they don't work they don't get paid sick leave/PTO either.

Oh well though, still less stressful than fielding suicidal calls and helping distraught people watching their entire financial life obliterated or mourning the lost of both their parents in isolation, while being punched in the face with "why u not sell 100 credit cards this week" and "omfg your MPS score is only 85 why is it not 100" business morning huddles every morning at the bank!

Whoops wrong thread.

@cobaltasaurus i wouldn't hold your breath!

The kiddo i have agonized the most over as far as worrying about a last minute oh shit rally as far as school goes not being enough...just got accepted into the university he was most interested in as well as one other. He was pretty depressed thinking he didn't (his brother got accepted like within days of application all the schools brother applied to and he thought because that didn't happen for /him/ it meant a rejection.)

While my teens at home have been doing okayish during this year, honestly they too are fatigued/on edge/fighting off depression and stress, so having this boost and peace of mind has been very dramatic for him.

Don't love the fact that we will be getting 3 college bills next year, but I am happy for my older three and for my seniors who each have several options now.

The big boys (18, and 17 year old twins) got up early with the youngest to build youngest (6) new Legos sets with him, and then one of the bigs spent a couple of hours teaching youngest how to play the pokemon card game and then playing several games with him.

We had a very scaled back Christmas but it was nice and all the bigs hung out for quite awhile.

I take medication that helps me stay alive since honestly I am still dealing with the psychological fallout from last april/March where I lost so many clients and then dealing with the aftermath of having to field a ton of suicidal and other distressed people through the end of the PPP applications.

I cope by putting one foot in front of the other to not put a burden on my children. I quit my high stress job for one that pays the insurance bills but has virtually no stress associated with it. It is in an industry that is just below nursing homes and health care as far as covid outbreaks associated with employment, where no one gets PTO or sick leave, but I'll be honest and say after working this whole time and having lost count of the potential exposures in that time period I guess I'm not super scared of getting it and biting it, if it happens it happens, I do go out of my way to protect others from exposure to me though.

I watch bits and pieces of documentaries, i play with babies and under 18 month olds at work, I try to RP now and then if I think people actually want to be around me, I sleep a lot. I take vitamins. I send my college kid care packages and harass my twin high school seniors to get them through graduation and college admission. When its hard to deal with the pain from my newly diagnosed inflammatory disease I take a dropper of my cbd/thc tincture and thank the voters that I live in a state that's legal (I have declined the medications for my disease as they're immunosuppressive).

But mostly it is just putting one foot in front of the other, not subjecting other people to me unless I know that it's wanted, and watching stupid and/or funny you tube and other videos (thanks to Carytid's funny suggestion at the beginning of this fucking thing I am now super addicted to Karen videos since I no longer have to deal with them at work). And boring thc/cbd tinctures since I hate any feeling of high.

I remember hearing here about some WoD sounding place that was coded even more than Firan and Arx. With like clothing that would go transparent if the PC was drenched in water and also some code about how attractive the female pc was based on their coded cycle and also somehow this was also affected by how much you codedly ate and how fast?

While also creepy, I found that level of coding on PCs to be fascinating. I think Firan and Arx are about the max level of coding like that I can cognitively keep up with (and not very successfully) and it's bothering me i can't remember the name of that other place.

Ender's Game, The Dark is Rising series, Anne of Green Gables series, Caddie Woodlawn, Harriet the Spy, all of Judy Blume's books.