Posts made by mietze

I don't care about power curve per se. After a few months there's always going to be a differential in an xp system. If your game is ready enough to give out xp though (that's not part of a tiered cg) I don't know that I agree it's really "soft rp" or in testing stage. But the fact that many places do allow people to gain territory/influence/xp in "beta" and "soft open" and there is a not entirely incorrect assumption that you'd better get in on it or else never have a chance to advance to top tier or be influential or get a territory or whatever...I think that's a reason that sometimes there's an overwhelming surge before a game is even ready in "beta" which has cause ld significant number of problems for quite a few new games (up to and including total burn out even before they reach hard open). And I think invite only (or vouch only) but accumulation of assets beta games once they open should label themselves more accurately as "sandbox game now letting the public in". As I've said before, no problems with sandboxes or changing status at all--but it doesn't do anyone any services to not call it what it is.

I actually do think no xp or other goodies should be given in beta, which is supposed to be testing and not hard open and usually pre advertising. It sets up an unfriendly environment to "outsiders."

I also agree that it's not impossible. But there's a difference between "possible" and "going to happen." I see people all the time critique behavior that they themselves engage in, so blatantly I've laughed out loud a few times. It's one thing to know what should be done. But people are people and I think expectations probably are pragmatically adjusted accordingly. Not in a "negative" way but one in which one maintains a healthier boundary with what you'd like vs. dealing with what you have.

Bored, the standard of "slightest effort" can range anywhere from meaning "if it's not all about my PC instead you are horrible" to "as long as scenes are being run you can have 5 of your Alts in them and it's cool with me" and everything inbetween.

I take phrases like "making an effort" well salted now because of huge disparity I've seen in perception of the same event I was present for.

Staffer alt influence, in my experience often is most impactful when they are NOT the highest ranking person on the totem pole. Because as word gets out, players gravitate towards looking towards them for any kind of clues (even if they give none) especially about metaplot (which tends to undermine the PCs who ARE higher up on the totem pole). Having a PC in the game does not, IMO, give you an accurate read on the game itself--there may be player PCs trying to wrangle people and get things moving with the plot seeds they've been given, while being ignored in favor of waiting on the staff alts (and bitching at those staff alts that nobody in the player run PC leadership is doing anything). Sometimes bad actor staffers will capitalize on this to be controlling while being able to claim on paper they're not breaking any ethics boundaries, but know damn well that they can undercut/undermine and do so, or blame plot slowness on "well that person isn't doing things correctly/getting it out to people." Sometimes people don't even realize that they're gravitating towards staff pcs, or staffers don't realize that their treatment/response time/eagerness they're getting may be different from normal players. And sometimes it works, and people relax into not worrying about it, under good staffers who are managing themselves well, and being careful about cliques and perceptions. It's pretty exhausting though, to do that.

@Ominous said in The 100: The Mush:

To be actually constructive for once, I am growing into the opinion that if staff want to have PCs that aren't on the bottom of thr totem pole, the game needs multiple spheres and if someone has a character in a sphere, they cannot staff it.

I agree with you, but most people seem to be extremely against it. I don't know that it can be a realistic expectation to have staff not play in their sphere or be power restricted or disclosed in any way. Some of this is from the scarcity problem. So I think to a certain degree you really if you're going to play anywhere need to just mentally prep yourself for some (witting in some cases, unwitting/unintended in others) revolution around staffer alts no matter where you play. Even where alts are not disclosed, people do tend to always know, in my observation (maybe not everyone, but enough); and it's a natural inclination even with the best of intentions. I'm not sure why people are in such denial about it.

So maybe instead of being in denial, we should just embrace it. If you are having fun at a place, don't worry about it. If you don't get along with staff as players, no matter if they had a pc or not, your fun would probably be curtailed at some point, so maybe time to move on. Or if you're having fun at first, and then see things sliding to somewhere you don't like, instead of making it "OMG THEY ARE EVILLLLLLLLLL HOBBY WRECKERS" just..."I think their style of management sucks, and it irritates me and I hate it, so I'm moving on. Thanks!"

When I made a staffing decision someone disagreed with, I got screamed at for hours on skype chat and in game by this (popular at the time) person and their friends, about how the game was all they had, they were ill, my decision upset her to the point of taking to her bed, how dare I deny someone with her issues just this little something that wouldn't have harmed anyone (except for it clearly would have caused a few massive problems).

There are many mushers, myself included, that struggle with a number of illnesses. Most people are respectful enough of themselves and others to not do that sort of thing. The ones that do though--are pretty abusive. Staff or player. I think there is a spectrum of abuse; and I've seen plenty of it perpetrated on games and by ill (or using their illness as an excuse) people online and in the flesh. Just because you can technically walk away does not negate the ick.

Other MUSH players and staffers are never your therapists, and using them as such is wrong. Mushing can be therapeutic, I know it has been both that and cathartic for me personally at times, but putting that on others that you don't even know is revolting to me. If you cannot handle setbacks or disappointments on a game you play, then you ought not be on it. Whether it's simply you hate the staff or you're just more sensitive than usual. It's never an excuse to say that the only acceptable staffing model or decision is the one that's yours and how dare anyone run anything contrary to it.

You don't like it? Don't play. You are unable to function in life because of something that happened on a game you're playing? You have no business being on it. It's bad for you and you have no business guilt tripping people for upsetting you to the point of illness. If you find yourself running into problems all over the place, maybe for the health of everyone it's best if you take a break. Because other people don't need to be subjected to your freak outs. (And you do not need to be a shut in or "unsuccessful" to struggle with those issues, and it kind of annoys me when it's implied otherwise).

Also--there are isolated/chronically ill/downtrodden people who are not innocents but really horrible people. I know a few RL. Some of the most infamous run far away omfg abandon ship if they get on staff/run a game--they also are chronically ill (physical or mental) or socially isolated. People are people. Well off, socially and physically and every other measure successful people can be dicks, surprise surprise!

What is ruining the hobby? More good people not getting up off their busy buns and wading in to running one! Not the fact there are bad actors out there--there always have been and always will be. Seeing people spew weird hatred in a public forum might put off more than a few (though admittedly if they can't take it they wouldn't last long anyway.)

Claiming you're on a crusade on behalf of the downtrodden pitiful masses (taking pains to make sure everyone knows you are not one of them!) rather than your own interest/inability to get over your anger makes you look not like a champion but a dick.

The complications of when you had a really shitty parent, as time goes on. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer about a month ago. I felt nothing then and feel nothing now, which makes me a bitch. Or I do feel something--a little angry maybe that the biopsy results mean she gets targeted radiation no chemo and is expected to not have much of an impact long term on her health now that she's had a very minimal partial mastectomy. Meanwhile I have been to 3 funerals in the last 2 years all of friends with kids my kids' ages (the older ones anyway) who have died of cancer. I have cried more over the many friends I've driven to chemo appointments or hung out with to be someone nearby and doing housework on bad days. (I'm a woman of a certain age, so I would say that for the last 5 years I've had a constant stream of loved friends going through this.)

So pretty much this makes me an epic cold bitch. Especially when I'm more upset that I'm not upset, and even a little angry that she will likely remain in good health while other, fantastic moms I know are in the ground. But it is what it is. I wish I could be sad instead of...blank.

Unless you are exceedingly religious, think the Constitution Party are pussies who don't go far enough to maintain our Godly Nation and/or Rush Limbaugh and Alex Jones are too mainstream for you, you don't want 'em either. :(. I did have a couple of second cousins (my dad's cousins) that were...well, I guess sort of New England hippies? So they were tinfoil hatters too just not in a destroy the heathens way but a fun I believe in ufos and vibes sort of way. Sadly they have both passed.

@Sunny said in RL Anger:

And you have to decide.

Is this worth a family brawl? Is it?

Right there with you. Except for is is most of my extended family who has gone totally apeshit Jesus annointed Trump and Well I Thought Obama Was the Antichrist But No Really Hillary Is And They Both Are Going To Institute Sharia Law.

In general I think the best policy if you actually intend to apologize vs excuse/save face is to keep it very simple and short unless they ask for clarification. The more you run your mouth the more likely it is that you'll say something to shoot yourself in the foot.

"I didn't intend to come across that way but I can see why it did. I'm really sorry that I was offensive."

Is better than:

"Sorry you took my words that way, but I didn't mean that. You shouldn't have interpreted them that way."

I'm a pretty awesome cook and usually don't need recipes/can figure out how to recreate a taste profile most of the time on the first try.

Though I suck at pie crusts. I think baking in general requires more attention to detail/science so that's my weakness!

There is a very important legal distinction between a "service animal" (which is very narrowly defined--it must be trained for a very specific list of tasks to be included under the ADA, as well as being a dog, under those guidelines) and a "therapy animal" or the broader "assistance animal" that applies to housing. So even if a doctor okays a pet as a comfort/therapy animal, if it isn't a service animal it is still allowed to be barred from businesses and the like. I only know about this because of an issue we had at my 2nd job with someone insisting they could bring their ill trained, unhousebroken, stinky matted elderly mini poodle into an indoor playspace for children under 6 under the ADA (including getting in my face about it when I insisted that the dog needed to be back behind the gate after it growled at a baby even before they made it into the play area properly. So I looked it up, called around for confirmation (and printed out all that shit in case I needed it again--which I did, when someone tried to bring in a parrot like 3 weeks later).

I am not sure what the housing authority defines as "assistance animal" (I know it's broader than "service animal" as defined by the ADA but for all I know that might just mean it can be something other than a dog but still require it to be trained) but before you count on not having to pay for a pet deposit or whatever it's probably worth researching first. Just so you know if you can push your rental company hard or not (I'd say it never hurts to ask to not pay the deposit if you can get something from a doctor).

Not anger so much as bleh. I'm thankful I have the education and moxie to be my own advocate when it comes to healthcare issues, but it's pretty exhausting having to do it.

Wow those are beautiful!

And I'm not coming at this from a Perfectly Perfect Person standpoint. When I think back on all of the heartbreakers in my MUSHlife, where OOC relationships were damaged, where games broke up, ect--whether or not I was directly involved or not, at some point somewhere along the way most (not all but most) could have been greatly reduced in scope and impact if I or someone else would have just...NOT said what was on their mind in the midst of a fit of pique. If we'd just sat with it, even though it was uncomfortable. If we'd not had to get the last word in. If maybe it was okay to cede the point, even if there was still fight left in our spirit.

I have never been kicked off a game or put in timeout, but certainly over 22 years of mushing I can look back and think back on things where it would not have been unwise or unreasonable to have been, based on things I've said to people (or didn't say).

But take it for what it's worth (not much, as free unsolicited advice goes)--if you find yourself bumping up against staff a couple of times, and they're telling you your personality/the way you talk to people/specific actions are not okay--either decide to change it (or talk less ooc and focus on play), or decide if you really are just better off finding a game where the staff tolerates your behavior. Fighting it with "but I did so much for you" is a losing tide. Or even an "I don't know what I'm doing," or "I can't help it." Ultimately if you can't control it, or even see it, then you're just going to keep bumping heads, and that's not fun for anyone. So just find a place where you dont or it's big enough with enough changeover that people are more tolerant with folks that they feel they have to manage.

I don't think there's probably any MUSHer out there who has not felt eventually or even been told directly that they need to just let a game go because it's not working out. Some personality types tend to be martyrs and try to stick it out, but all that does is make it worse and uncomfortable for everyone (and as someone with those inclinations, I totally understand).