What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A prostitute stops screwing you once you're dead.
Why don't sharks eat lawyers? Professional courtesy.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One is a spineless, poisonous blob, and the other is a form of sea life.
@nyctophiliac said in The Art of Lawyering:
Had to google PI.
It doesn't mean Private Investigator. It means Personal Injury.
Sounds far less fun than my initial assumption. My heart, it breaks.
It's got a reputation as being where the money is at, because PI attorneys work on contingency taking 1/3 of whatever their client gets as payment.
Anyway, you ever seen in the movies where there's this firm of lawyers who are like "if you win this case we will make you a partner" -> Can someone explain that? Does that actually happen?
Being a partner means your name is part of the firm. "Smith, Jackson, & Goldstein" for instance would indicate that the partners are attorneys whose last names are Smith, Jackson, and Goldstein. Partners own the firm, do they make the big decisions, get the best cases, and make the most money.
One of my friends from college is a patent attorney with an engineering Bachelor's. He makes mad bank. He hates his work, but he only has like 6 more years until he retires to the Caribbean.
I love that video and show it to the inmates from time to time. "It's gotten so bad even the Aryan Brotherhood is stepping in to break up my ass-kickings" always gets a laugh.
@Auspice said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
MD, OH, SC... all just give you a single Detour sign that may as well be a 'don't fucking go this way' because you never see another one.
Ohio works like this - when you follow a detour sign, stay on whatever route or road it has told you to take until another detour sign says otherwise. So make sure to note whatever state route number or county road name the detour sign is having you take, because that's the one you need to stick to until otherwise notified. You might reach a fork in the road, but you won't be given a detour sign telling you which to take, because it is assumed you are sticking to the route number or county road you were told to follow to begin with. It might be 50 miles later, but you will eventually see another detour sign that alerts you that you have been reconnected with the route or road you were originally on.
I am still batting around the idea of an archipelago world filled with Monarchies of Mau-ish elves (or maybe humans) sailing on the high seas! It'll probably never see the light of day, but it's rattling around in my brain case.
But if Auspice gets a Space Truckin' game going, I'll poke my head in, play around a bit, and steal ideas.
It has been. It's how I knew what it was when I saw it.
Catching salmonella from eggs is very rare, about 1 in 20,000 eggs. It's why bartenders can get away with using raw eggs in drinks. If you're using pre-packaged cookie dough, a lot of them are pasteurized.
Is that the Magic Roundabout in Swinton or Swindon or something, England?
@Auspice said in The Art of Lawyering:
@Ganymede said in The Art of Lawyering:
Hofbrauhaus
One of the places I miss from living in the Cincinnati region.
It's good, but I prefer the restaurants in Mainstrasse, because they're local rather than a chain. However, none of them have giant rooms with long tables and benches where you sit next to strangers and sing loudly off-key in between chugging from a tankard.
@Derp said in The Art of Lawyering:
It's weird to me that you have to be an attorney to practice law, but not to be a judge.
It depends on the state. In Ohio and Kentucky, you must be a licensed attorney in the state to be a judge.
However, there is no requirement to be a US Supreme Court Justice. You just have to be nominated by the US President and confirmed by the US Senate, per the US Constitution. What's sad is that I worked with lawyers at my last job who did not know this.
Ohio also requires individuals running for certain offices to have corresponding credentials. The County Engineer must be a Professional Engineer and Professional Surveyor. The County Coroner must be a licensed physician. So on and so forth.
@Rinel said in The Art of Lawyering:
This is true! Nobody ever can afford the first, though, so
This is why the state is considering getting rid of bail altogether.
@Rinel said in The Art of Lawyering:
@saosmash said in The Art of Lawyering:
The point is, no matter what someone has done, they're not beyond human caring.
Frame this shit and put it up in lights.
We could put a sign up saying that on a few of the inmates' single cells, but I suspect the sheet of paper would blacken much like the Nazi symbol on the crate in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Not a lawyer but I work at a jail in Kentucky.
Bail is what you need to put up as collateral with the court to be released from jail on your own recognizance. A bond (technically it's a "bail bond") is an agreement between you and a bondsman in which the bondsman covers for you by putting up the collateral for your bail and in return you pay the bondsman like 10% of the bail that they get to keep.
Bail is between you and the state. A bail bond is an agreement for a bondsman to cover your bail.
In Kentucky bail bonds and bounty-hunting have been illegal since 1976, being the first state to get rid of them. Now we only have cash bail, and we are considering getting rid of that too.
I am disappointed. I was really hoping Penis Man had stopped a crime or two.
@Macha said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:
But I don't think Boss would lean - he's very much "We are contractors, not county employees.
While true, you present an atypical situation and he might be willing to lean more. It's one thing to demand that every contractor get access to the special county employee lot; it's another to ask for a little leeway for 1-2 people who need some consideration. Especially if you're still willing to pay the garage rate, showing that you're not trying to get out of paying for a parking space.
Hmm. If it is patrolled by the cops - I should have no issue. Big brother is one of them. I will have to look.
That's the ticket. Figure out who makes sure the people parking there are supposed to be parking there (you might get lucky and it's no one) and see if you can't work something out with them. You might get that one officer who is a strict, by-the-book asshole (me), but even they can be made to roll their eyes at the ridiculousness of the circumstances and look the other way if the situation is a one-off "why be a complete dickbag?" scenario.
Just make sure to be respectful and calmly present the situation. My willingness to bend the rules is directly proportional to how calm and respectful the person asking is.
Another thought - see if one of the county employees who can park in the lot is willing to give you their "parking spot" in the county lot and you give them the parking spot in the garage that you're paying for. That way no space in the county lot has been lost, you're still paying for a spot (again showing it's not about money but about physical circumstances), you get to park closer, and the county employee gets to burn some calories to walk a few blocks. Honestly, I would be willing to do that trade with someone. 3 blocks is nothing for me.
@Ganymede said in Real World Peeves, Disgruntlement, and Irks.:
We missed a court order’s requirement, and my assistant was beside herself at her desk crying because she felt responsible. I had to tell her, no, I’m the attorney, I’m the partner, I am responsible and it is not her fault.
I work at a large jail for a metropolitan area and we fuck court orders up all the damned time. Pat her on the back and tell her at least it didn't cost a person their freedom for a few days/weeks/months.
@surreality said in RL things I love:
My father hates it, so she never gets to go...
I don't... I don't know how to understand this. The Cheesecake Factory's menu is literally everything edible (hyperbole for humor). It takes me 15 minutes just to get through the whole damned thing and another 15 to finally decide between the 10 things that sounded good to me that day (not hyperbole at all). Him not liking the Cheesecake Factory is him not liking food.
Anyways, RL thing that I love:
Is the county lot gated or just patrolled? If gated, can you inquire as to getting a parking pass for your specific situation? Try to get your boss to lean on them a bit and maybe offer to pay the same monthly rate as you would at the garage to go towards upkeep of the lot. If patrolled, who patrols it? If it's the sheriff or police, try to talk to some of them and see if they'll kindly overlook your vehicle. We do it for certain individuals. If it's some private contractor patrolling it, you'll have a tougher time.
@Kestrel said in Depression Meals:
I enjoy cooking too, but when I'm depressed, I don't want to do things I enjoy. I want to lie in a congealing pool of self-loathing and misery and stare at the wall until an hour has passed.
I do as well. However, the logic part of me forces me to get up and do certain things, because I know those things brighten my day and will help em get past my depression, even if the emotional part of me is all "Can I just lie right here and die in peace? Thanks."
On the topic of looks, counter-counterpoint: I am decently handsome if overweight, but my terrible personality more than compensates to make me unattractive.
Thursday through Monday
1340 - Wake up and hop in shower, shave, brush teeth, etc.
1420 - Drive to work.
1440 - Arrive at work and clock-in.
1500 - Roll Call
1505 - Take charge of assigned post and relieve officer on duty.
2240 - Be forced onto mandatory overtime.
0730 - Drive home.
0750 - Go to bed.
Tuesday through Wednesday
Sleep.
