Posts made by RightMeow

@Wizz

I don't know the situation, obviously (Geez - I just invited myself over ONCE - kidding). However, I find honesty is the best policy. In any relationship, we stress so much about how the other person is going to take it, but if we are just honest; it tends to be how it's meant to be. Maybe don't be cruel, but just tell them you don't want them in your life.

Hey, thank you for reaching out. However, I don't think it would be a good idea to catch up. You know we tend to fall into the same patterns as the past has shown. I'm in a good place and I think we are in a good place as we are separately and I would like to maintain that. --- yadda yadda.

Something that is all hey, I'm not interested but yo thanks, ya know. It's hard. I moved to a different state to get out of a cycle with an ex. We'd break up, stay friends, do things, end up together, be good, get toxic, get 100x worse than the last time, break up, stay friends.... So I understand. It is hard to walk away, but it's best for you and that should be honored.

@Auspice I never played there, but I want to know what it stands for.

Hello Strangers on the Interweb... this is going to contain personal information. This is your disclaimer to stop reading...

So, I have an autoimmune disorder (on top of whatever else goes on), it mainly effects my brain. A bit over a week ago, my right leg went numb. I was pretty sure that I pinched my sciatica nerve and just tried to 'walk it off'. This led to an urgent care visit, which led to the ER, which led to a three day high steroid IV drip.

I'm supposedly 'okay', but may I talk about how frustrating this is? It's my driving leg. I can still drive, but my foot will sometimes slip off the brake pedal. For a half second and it's back on. However, does this mean I shouldn't drive? It can take 3-6 months to get better. I don't have that time to have someone to drive me to work and back and stuff. I'm supposed to be moving this next week. To live all by my lonesome.

I'm smiling. I'm saying everything is fine. Everything is NOT fine. I'm worried about this. I don't know. I guess I just had to drop it here because I'm the smile and it's fine IRL person and I just had to offload it. Thank you..

That moment you work 50+ hours, you have a day off. The game won't work for you because you can't look at anything or go north. No one is around to reset it.... and you just cry. Like ugly cry.

It's not the game or the staff at all. It's my mental blah. Like why can't something go right when I want it to?

Thank you for the grump session.

@mietze I just looked these up. I'm not sorry.

I signed a lease on my apartment.. woohooo. This means that while spending so much money (so much). There is a light at the end of the tunnel to sorting my life back out in a healthy balance.

@silverfox said in Health and Wealth and GrownUp Stuff:

I've laid pipe

(insert childish laughter here)

Sorry you are having 'a day' though.

@SuperiorHuron

I mean... I feel like it's not a fail. You used it right. I mean if you read it as sarcasm. Thanks a lot.

It's teaching proper emoji usage. Yeah... that's it. It's fine. Perfectly acceptable.

I went out to social. Yay. I saw a friend I haven't seen in a bit. Yay. We walked around outside. Yay. We tried new foods. Yay.... then the sunburn.

Socialize they said, it'll be fun they said. --- IT BURNS. Socialization burns.

I am learning so much on this thread. You are all now my people. Sorry, I'm not sorry.

@Aria

I literally had that same comment when I was venting about someone on this topic. I mean, different state, but still. I was like.. you've never lived there?!

So I was watching those ADHD videos on youtube that someone posted with the girl at some point (Don't judge my memory and unwillingness to sort through back messages). She had one on how do you know if you might have ADD. I was all of those, but the car one got me the most. My car is ALWAYS a mess. I tend to forget to bring things in. Or I'll get it next time and I forget, or.. yeah. It's a thing. Like I don't have a habit for it yet.

Anyways, just sharing that.

My first reaction to weed was to find everything hysterical, want to eat everything, and then sleep. I kept laughing at some violent horror movie and was like.. dude, this is fucked up. It's not funny and I can't stop laughing.

THEN...

I maybe did too many edibles the first time I tried those. That's when I went mission impossible about being TOO HIGH. I googled (exact wording) 'How to get unhigh' -- Then I went down stairs pressed against a wall so 'no one would suspect'. Then I took a /hot/ shower. Yeah, yeah. Then I got the spins. Finally, I just fell asleep.

@Ganymede
@surreality

I'm okay. I just decided to leave an unhealthy situation and now have to buy everything again. I was more like UGH.. why's it got to be so much. Why can't beds be cheaper? Or table and chairs? Or couches? Or all the odds and ends you need, etc.

My real life peeve is my own doing but still...

When you have to buy pretty much everything for a household because you are starting over. UGGGH. Why does it have to cost so much?

My psychologist and doctor think I have it, but I have wonderful PTSD which also does things, so we are still figuring. My sister 160% is sure I have it. Like off the charts she thinks I'm textbook of it.

I spent my entire life hearing how I was lazy because I couldn't focus. Or how I was cold because I couldn't draw a line. How I was a flake with plans because I'd lose track of time or how I was obsessive because I was hyper focused. I spent a lot .. A LOT of time just feeling like I was broken. Like a puzzle that was missing a piece and so I came up with coping skills to put my smile on and paint myself 'normal'. This also triggered anxietbecause it goes against the very nature that I have to deal with and... it's been a trip this year. I decided to deal with mental health at the start of 2020 and.... look at 2020.

So sorry guys, this might be my bad. Haha... heh..

I'm also sure I don't need to apologize but I just feel like I have to apologize for the space I'm taking. To not take too much up. Not draw too much notice. Partly for reasons that got me a PTSD diagnosis (CPTSD to be accurate) and partly because I've been trying to cover all these THINGS that I didn't understand why I was doing them or why I couldn't use my willpower to do it. Or just change. Or, etc.

So thanks for the past day or so.

@Kanye-Qwest

All this...

@Kanye-Qwest

I am sorry. I don't mean to be fangirling, but literally no one I have ever met has had this issue. Or they don't understand how I forget to eat. Or how I lose all track of time. Or that I have no concept of time. I have never had someone go 'me too' and I'm ... don't laugh.. I mean I suppose you can. But I'm a little like teary eyed because OMG.. finally someone else gets it and it's not just be being a weird time freak.

It's why I am obsessive about being on time when I have to meet people too. It's because it's a plan and I worry if I'm late, I'll be like HOURS late because I'll lose track of it.

@Kanye-Qwest said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

All this. Well, not ALL this, I don't have Rejection Sensitivity but I have always had ADHD that makes it next to impossible for me to:

1. schedule things coherently. I have no concept of time. None. Zero. If it happened more than a week ago, it could have been 2 weeks ago, 1 year, or 7 years. If you want to know what I will be doing next tuesday, I will never, ever be able to tell you. I don't know how long it takes me to accomplish any task. I started recording common tasks for a journal and then stopped before I got through the list, because...

2. Follow through. See, ADHD means no time regulation + low dopamine, so the idea of delayed gratification is just a ???. I can't motivate myself by saying 'sure this is tedious but you have to do it and when it's done you'll feel proud you accomplished it'. Like, that's a lie. I can't believe it. So instead I come up! with Ideas! and plans! and get dopamine hits off THOSE. Or play games, that have constant, quick and engaging things to achieve!

3. Rest. I'm lazy and worthless and always procrastinating. I have feelings of DOOM near constantly. Am I forgetting something? I'm definitely forgetting something. I definitely did/said/didn't do/forgot something and now I am I N T R O U B L E

Always exhausted, because the second guessing and berating about my brain is a full time job! On top of my full time job. For me, ADHD meds make it so I can get out of bed, and feel awake and relaxed enough to actually start my day. Just. Pick a task and dive in. I can work on something and make conversation with the people around me without stressing or completely losing my progress.

And that lasts for 3-4 hours and then I get a headache and the exhaustion comes back. But it is far, far better than nothing.

Wait... this is normal?! I try to explain the first one to people. Like I'm not flaking on you, in my mind we talked two days ago, not two months ago. Or other things. I really thought this was me. I'm both kinda sad you deal with this and kinda like OMG MY PERSON.. at the same time. (Um, not that you are /my person/ but you know what I mean).

All of this.

Dumb question....

What exactly do ADHD meds do? I mean for you, when you take them. I'm kind of anti-meds unless I'm going to die, but I'm curious if maybe I should be more open to it. Does it help? How does it help?

Also.. I really hate when I'm trying to make a point (please look at ANY forum post here by me) and I get lost in my own brain/thought process white space and I'm pretty sure I stopped making the point; but I'm still rambling about the point and then I'm like I should delete that. But then I think if I delete people are going to think it REALLY bad, so I leave it. However, then I obsess over it. Then I worry I offended someone. Then I worry I overshared. Then I....

Anyone else?
Just me?