Best posts made by Sunny

@Seamus

Technical capability does not mean it is being done. It is reasonable to expect the staff of any game to follow their listed policies regardless of the possibility the platform contains for violations. 'Because it is possible' is hardly a reason to implement inappropriate policy.

ETA: I am in IT. I can technically access the email of anyone in the office here and read it. Wanna guess how it would go if I did? If I had a coder on my staff team that abused the technical ability to spy on players, I would fire them and apologize to my players. Likewise, if a staff team says 'I will not watch your private rp', then I expect- reasonably- that they don't, and would further expect that if someone were caught, they would be removed from staff. If they were not removed, then the game staff does not follow their stated policy, and I will not play there.

I miss him.

@Pyrephox

I realized the other day I have been out longer than I was in, finally -- I've lingering trauma (who doesn't in their life?!) but I'm mostly OK. Things like this make me twitch a little though, because the MOs are similar. I imagine if I had to actually deal with it on a game, I'd probably end up triggered really bad. But I don't staff any more, and this type of thing is literally why I will only play on games where I know I will be safe, and why I bail so freaking quick on a game if I don't.

The 'I won't unless you talk to me' bit him in the end, tho. He told me he was not going to give me a divorce unless I sat down with him and talked, would not sign papers/etc., so he ultimately defaulted or whatever the term is, didn't show up, and apparently did not realize that the judge could (and did) rule anyway, since we gave him the required notice.

ETA: Once the judge saw the email where he said he wouldn't sign the papers without me sitting down with him (while I had an active restraining order), it was allllllllll over for him lol.

You are all a blessing to me. Thank you. I am incredibly grateful for the love and support that this community has shown me. It helps.

@Groth

Not having the skills or ability or capacity to deal with something isn't the same as not caring about another human being.

"Join the club" is not mocking; it's a frustrated expression of 'yes I am feeling that way, too'.

ETA: I live with fairly severe PTSD. I am living nigh-constantly in a triggered state right now due to the pandemic. This is no one in the mush world's responsibility to deal with besides me. Nobody. If I lose my shit on a public channel, staff in any given place has to deal with the actual thing that I actually did even if I did it because I was literally triggered. This is why I am staying offline the vast majority of the time right now. I can't ensure I behave myself most of the time because of the psychological impacts of this pandemic on my pre-existing condition.

@ganymede @Macha

Venmo is [redacted]. Thank you both for the thought. Accepting help is hard, but I sure do have a great support network. We’re gonna be ok I think. I have somewhere to stay that is safe now (and not a hotel), and I feel safer here than I have the last few years, so that’s helpful. A good place to be for finding our own place. The rental market is scary right now, but I have faith something is out there.

My brain is basically non functional right now. I think I hit my limit of what I can handle sometime yesterday.

@tek

I like having you around.

@Roz said in RL Anger:

My roommate was on disability for a while after their fibro diagnosis, and their birth mom -- who is kind of a mess and has historically been super awful and unreliable -- offered to pay three months of my roomie's rent to help them out. We just found out that the rent was never paid (and she never told my roommate)and our landlord is suddenly like, hey you owe us two and a half grand. My roommate never asked me to help pay it when they sat me down to tell me what had happened, or even implied anything, but they don't have emergency resources/family with money to help with things like this, and I do and also have savings, so I'm just -- paying it. I'll probably never see the full amount again, but it's still better than my roommate -- who is a kind person even if they are not as responsible as they should be -- taking out some awful predatory payday loan or something. (Someone stole their identity years ago and did a number on their credit, too.)

This on top of a whole mess of work stress and family death anniversary and I literally just broke down last night talking to them about this. I'm not even angry, I'm just exhausted.

Upvoting not because of the situation (I am so sorry, man) but because you're a really, really, really good person. Thank you for doing this for your roomie. As someone who has been utterly hammered a number of times through my own stupidity combined with some fairly unfortunate events...thank you. It's people like you that make the world a livable place.

@Groth

You're missing the part where it doesn't matter if the suffering is the same thing or different. It's not a competition. The fact is, what people are dealing with makes them less capable of dealing with this (or anything) right now.

ETA: It literally does not matter if the sensation is pain in the foot or pain in the hand. It is pain. That is what people are trying to explain. "Join the club" is the cry of a man with a broken foot to the man yelling about his broken hand. Which break is more severe? That matters to a doctor. It does not matter to the social circle involved.

@Admiral said in Do you believe in paranormal things?:

It's like believing in Bigfoot. The overwhelming, complete absence of evidence is evidence of absence.

Clearly you don't live in the PNW. It's actually illegal to shoot Bigfoot here. Why would that be a law if he didn't exist , huh? HUH?

@Ganymede

It’s (almost) June. For whatever reason, mushing is always dying in June, September, and December. It has to have something to do with holiday schedules. I must conclude this most recent spate is early because schools let out early.

ETA: Blah blah, something to do with the expectation that when they have all day free it’s going to be all rp all the time, but daytime on games is very different than peak blah blah.

@Thenomain said in Do you believe in paranormal things?:

I saw two people who in normal circumstances agree go at each other's throats for little more than a slight disagreement.

How is 'I hope your children get cancer' a slight disagreement, @Thenomain?

@Tinuviel said in Diversity Representation in MU*ing:

I'd love more gay characters. But I sure as shit don't want straight people trying to tell gay stories.

This is why I keep asking about making a better place for the players. The message I've gotten is that I ought to be amplifying the voices of POC on these topics. How do we do THAT, here?

Solid things I can think of:
As a GM, use POC as NPCs more often. Increase visibility and inclusion.
Create a wider variety of roster characters if/when I'm making roster characters.
Specifically create/write down rules/policies that make it very clear that ANY sort of OOC racism earns a swift ban from a game
When creating original theme stuff, work hard at making it EASY to be diverse

What other things can be done to make the OOC environments more comfortable/safer for people in the context of race?

@WTFE said in RL Anger:

@Sunny said in RL Anger:

@WTFE

Nope. My anger is pretty specific. Thanks for playing, though.

My pet peeve: humourless cunts.

Perhaps you could try being funny?

I know "haven't joined" wasn't exactly the question, but for me I just don't have the oomph to try a new game, particularly when I have a rough time with Ares. I'm not capable of adding anything right now, because even current commitment are too much.

It's not you, it's me -- and you're starting up a game months into a global pandemic. Low engagement is a thing.

Also, people are exhausted. If you try to make exhausted people be something besides not lazy, they will go somewhere they can rest. Even the MMO I play on has stopped idle-purging for the time being. The mush I still have a PC on has really really really really really lax idle/engagement policies, and if it didn't, I would've bailed forever ago.

I tracked down someone I hadn't spoken to in like 15 years that I feel is responsible in good part for a lot of the qualities that I really value in myself. She played mentor for me for years and patterned a lot of really good behavior, and a lot of it stuck. Yaaaaaay.

@GangOfDolls

Ohhh, that brings up a really good coping mechanism: deal with it OOC. Like, if something is particularly upsetting or causing bad bleed and you recognize it, you don't actually have to RP it out. Drop to out of character, discuss it with the other player, roll dice if necessary, and then move on. Remove the emotional charge, take the wind out of your own sails, whatever. There's this weird stigma against handling things OOCly when sometimes that's really, really, really the healthy thing to do.

If you cannot, in the course of playing your character, drop OOC and actually discuss / come to a conclusion about results without the RP happening -- like, you can't conceive of it -- that is a REALLY big sign that there's a problem you need to take a minute to self-eval on.

ETA: I reduced an IC breakup to dice rolls once, because the other player decided to have their character get on the emotional blackmail train and I wasn't having it. It was terrible and not fun very quickly, and so I just noped out. This is also my story of how I became a bad target for a fairly well known creeper. It's the same story.

Doctors that don't listen. Fucking hate them, OMG. Fuck you for not taking me at my word when I said what was going on and being a condescending PRICK, giving me the impression that you feel like I'm wasting your time...for the first 2 hours, and then do a complete turn-around and be all leap-into-action when my test results came back.

Mind, I agree. Test, confirm, absolutely. But making me feel like you think I'm a faker while we're waiting for those tests? FUCK YOU.. I am having a hard enough time here. I do not want to be here any more than you want to be my doctor right now. Show a little fucking respect.

I have been hunting for a PB change for eleventy million years. Today, with the help of a friend, my character no longer has weird hair modelS (there were three pictures, and they were all different ladies) as her PB. It is like finally finding a stick long enough to get that really freaking weird itch on your back.

@surreality

Maybe take a breath, read a book, have a cup of tea, and then come back and re-read. I think you'll find the points other folks are making a lot easier to understand.