You know upon reading this thread, I've made a decision.
I don't actually know @Thenomain but I will be choosing the winner. So submit why you should win the blacked heart of the fearless coder. May the odds be ever in your favor.
Sidenote: @Ganymede - can we go out for drinks? I need friends (even though I don't think I'm near you)
@Thenomain - you may PM your choice, but I'll probably just pick whomever entertains me the most.
If you have ever wanted to date @Thenomain here is the thread to do so. He's um.... a he. I think. He codes. He may have a different job, he may live in his parent's basement but... HE MAY BE A MONKEY.
So he lives somewhere in the US. He is above 21. He can rent a car. Ummmm
Yeah, so put your why you should date @Thenomain here.
He /may/ be a monkey people... a monkey
*I shouldn't post when really tired, but comeon be funny with me.
Wait...
Are you a MONKEY?!
I don't want to date a monkey but I want to make your wear a little hat.
Aww honey. I feel you. My nerve 'issues' cause that. I have literally leaped out of bed, and stripped it looking for insects before. You just cannot sleep. I hope they get you feeling better, hon.
We can start a date Thenomain thread -- have I done this? I feel like I have done this in life. If so, did it work?
I like to go to the movies because I like the big screen (which I don't have). I also sort of enjoy hearing other's reactions to pivotal points of the movie. I guess to a lesser extent, it's the same reason I MU*. I want a shared storytelling experience.
Convincing my adult sister that our first ever tattoos should be a sister tattoo. Also that it will be a symbol to combat depression, etc.
My issue with let's punch a thing (again this is my opinion) is it sort of makes you the thing in my book.
Group A hates Group C.
Group B hates Group A because they hate Group C.
Group A does a thing against Group C.
Group B hurts Group A for doing a thing against Group C.
It just makes both Group A and B look wrong and violent to me, I guess.
I feel like we should all go back to kindergarten. "Keep your hands to yourself." That was a really good rule.
I just don't think that violence is the answer.
Like Nazi (since we are using this) hates all the things not them.
Nazi is violent and does a thing.
It is not the right show (to me) that you put your hands on them.
It is okay to find a legal ramification against them.
It is okay to educate them out of this thought pattern if possible.
I (personally) feel that the only thing that violence begets is more violence. If you are violent against X group, etc. Then you in a way give them an example to point to and prove their point.
It does not go:
Nazi: Grr, Imma do a a thing!
Nazi does thing.
You: Bad wrong
You assault the Nazi
Nazi: Hey, you know you are right. You kicking my ass made me see the right way (aka your thinking).
It does tend to go like this:
Nazi does a thing against a group
You throat punch the Nazi
Nazi: See (group) is bad and this is what they did.
Nazi: See (group) is bad and is now brainwashing (their type) to act against us. They must be taught a lesson/eradicated.
Nazi2: My brother has been attacked. We must go teach (you) a lesson about messing with us.
I don't mean to get up on my soapbox, it's just one of the things that makes me sigh. It doesn't make me angry, it sort of makes me sad. We are supposed to be 'higher intelligent creatures', yet we tend to resort to using our hands not our words. I also understand that I'm a bit more on the make love not war side of the gambit when it comes to solving issues. Also, maybe I'm over-simplifying etc.
You do not solve hate with hate. You do not solve it with violence. You solve it (to me) with love and education. Riots have never helped a movement. It may have felt good to the person for an act of defiance against the rules. They have tended to harm more innocent people and ruin a cause. They become known (the riot) has senseless, head shaking acts and a lot of times become a selfish sort of twist to them. They take away from the issue at large because of the violence of the issue. I'm huge on everyone getting their civil rights and not judging a person by their life story, or things they cannot help. I just think there are better ways to do it. So, it makes me sad when people are going to be like OMG I'm going to hit this thing to make a point.
TL:DR - Catsmeow went off on a soapbox rant -- Violence does not solve hate; it tends to justify it.
I don't agree with violence against hate. That's just my opinion though. I'm pretty optimistic and secretly all about loving everyone. Okay, maybe not secretly. I also don't really watch CNN.
This might be why I'm old and single.
Write a staff ethics policy and make sure your staff understands it. Also, make sure they understand what is expected of them AND what will not be tolerated from them. It is good to staff with people you like, but sometimes staffing with a friend hurts a friendship.
Don't do it all yourself. While important, you should be able to leave the game for a few days and trust it will be okay. You WILL need to step away from your own game from time to time. Like children, it's okay if you want to murderize your players. It's okay to take a 'parent' time out. It's okay.
You aren't going to get along with everyone. It's okay to ask a person to leave the game if they are not meshing with theme/players.
Please attempt to go for visibility in decisions, rulings, etc. If you start the cloak and dagger method of 'they don't need to know' it will be hard to come back from.
Really if I want to get a group of girls/women/females/identifying etc together and pay for an event to make it so it's just women. Good on me. If I want to make a certain time of one showing of the theater a place where women want to feel empowered without whatever issues they are carrying good on me.
If boys/men/males/identifying etc get together and payr for an event to make it just men. Good on them. If they want to make it a certain time of one showing of the theater a place where men feel 'safe' to be men and hell empowered by Wonder woman. Good on them.
It's a showing of a movie. Let people enjoy it how they want to enjoy it. It's not like the only theater, the only screen or the only time the movie is being shown.
As to the peanut butter debate -- there are two sides and I appreciate it. If it is just the free lunch program. Sure. That's at the school's decision for the betterment of all. If your child really will not eat anything but peanut butter and you cannot afford to feed them; I think they should make exclusive understanding on case by case basis. Some kids also need the protein and refuse to eat meat, etc. They just have to understand they cannot share their sandwiches or get it on things, etc. It may be too much work to the child and eating may change. It is hard to be a parent and there are times that no matter what you try to force on your child or not -- the willpower of the child sometimes wins.
As to the debate about debates.... let's just all get along?
Children in theaters make me cringe --- I'm a breeder.
On the list thing (yeah I'm late to the discussion) -- I don't like it because people can truly be cray-cray for a brief moment of time. Life is hard. Stress is hard. People 'blow up' at things. I like to think I"m pretty level headed (I could be way wrong).
However, late last year/early this year -- I was pretty batshit insane myself and was behavior blind to my own crap. I had suddenly lost a job, I lost friends that were like family, I ended a relationship, I had ZERO income, I was denied unemployment because I worked at a non-profit, I was getting in debt, I got suicidal, I got super depressed and couldn't see my own behaviors, I felt constantly like I was drowning -- like I really felt like I couldn't breathe most the time, I took MU* things harder than normal, I couldn't see beyond my own life falling around my ears, that doesn't even touch my issues that happened with my child during that time -- I was fricking cray-cray.
Now - if anyone took time to know me. They would know I'm really not that person. People that are in my life would think you were crazy suggesting it. I'm super happy, laid-back and optimistic ALL THE TIME. So then I would be on this list because there is at least one set of game staff (cough cough Arx cough cough) that the time frame was my ONLY interaction with them. They have no clue to my honest personality now that I'm employed, moved, etc. --- So I would be on this list for a really SUCKTASTIC part of my life that I was not myself at all. How would that be fair?
Sure there are a million and ten reasons against people. If I staffed a game (I have refused to do so for like a decade now), I would be suspect if I knew some people were XYZ. However, I'd wait until they did something on the game. I like to think people can change. Really, if I'm honest, I would rather be screwed over by people thinking they can change and they didn't; then to live paranoid of what might happen.
Mesa ---
When I lived there in... well a bit ago.. the only things open at night were AutoZone and Denny's. I did get a police escort out of that Denny's though. So really... AutoZone was open.
My thoughts are this. If you have been an 'ideal' player and something happens that pisses you off. That's normal. It happens. How you handle it is pretty telltale. If you go to your friend who is your sounding board for all things (not just this thing); sure. Okay. Rant. However, if you go off on someone in a Skype conversation, Discord talk, IM, Email, or various means we have off game -- well chances are this is more the real you. You have probably been doing this or levels of this before and not gotten caught. Just this time you picked the wrong person or felt comfortable that you would be let off for your crime and did it more in public.
I have a circle of people that when things go bad, calls are out of my favor, or random things that just happen -- I vent to them. They know I don't hate the game or the people but I need to blow off my frustration. I have been spending months and this dickbag just fucked up all those plans. Fuck him. I should just... fuck up his plans.. waaaaa. --- They know that I don't mean I'm really going to fuck up his plans. I'm just crying that my plan has to be revised. They know I'll be fine online and not be vindictive. So in this I think it's fine (but maybe it's not). Also, on game I will actually be fine after I sleep. Sleep makes things better normally.
Now if I went on public/game channel and had a meltdown. Or I did this to strangers that don't know me and have the rapport that I have with others; this is uncomfortable and really can be seen as harassment. I would never try to do that because I would feel uncomfortable because that's not my sounding board for my sanity (or insanity). So if someone feels comfortable, if you looked into it. They have probably been getting info OOC, they have been crossing OOC lines, etc. Now if this is an offense that goes on and on -- the game (Arx in question here) has been stated as a 'safe place'; that means they have to protect in a sense against that harassment. It's not a slope, but it is a sticky situation full of potholes.
So really, just don't be a dick.
We need to be friends. We can geek out over nail polish -- also I suppose I need to be his friend.
I changed my mind about my post. In hindsight, it may have come off rude. So small sad, but not angry.
It is hard to move. I'm in a new state and literally know no one but my family. They are cool, but I want friends. Also the city I live in doesn't have many meetup groups.
Can I be your friend? If I'm your friend, do I get to hangout and TT? Well.. virtually..
My adult nephew got it at midnight on the release. Soooo... come over, you can play his.