Best posts made by Sunny

@Cupcake

Sending good thoughts your way. I have a great deal of admiration for your bravery in taking this step to take care of yourself, however hard it is. Thank you for taking care of you.

@Wretched

I feel like this is more a discussion than an argument? Maybe? There's been a lot of good stuff for thought from most of the perspectives here; I've been enjoying it, for the most part.

@bored

It's a discussion, people have different perspectives, we've been talking about it. I'm not sure why people talking about their experiences in relation to the topic is particularly weird or problematic.

ETA: Also, conflating 'sex and romance should not be off the table as plot elements' and 'fucking around on npcs handing out magic swords and babies' isn't a good look.

This is so weird but an ad for this just came across my FB feed and I think there might be folks who appreciate it, they're bras that are engineered for DD+ sizes and the commentary seemed like people really liked wearing them:

https://trueandco.com/collections/full-cup-bras

I'd have tagged y'all but that is even weirder. I FOUND STUFF FOR YOUR BOOBS.

@Ghost said in Our Tendency Towards Absolutes:

So, seriously, this mutually assured destruction stuff is actually making the hobby harder for you all. I dont know what the absolute answer is, but I have buried the hatchet with some people I had some major issues with and things are going well. It feels good. Maybe it's time to work on that, and working out how to start communicating with each other.

What mutually assured destruction stuff?

No, seriously?

@bored -- who I disagree like a million percent with on a million different things -- is one of my favorite roleplayers in the hobby, the actual act of roleplaying with him is INCREDIBLY fun

@Thenomain is an AMAZING coder and the guy has a heart of gold, even when we're bickering

@Wretched is pouring his heart and soul into making an absolutely amazing game, and I will probably play there even though I hate WoD these days because man, I may not agree with him, but he's doing a good job following what he says.

Like, all of the people I have argued with about these topics, here? We're discussing heated topics. I don't want anything BAD to happen to any of them. None of them want anything bad to happen to me!

There is NOBODY on this board (that doesn't get banned regularly) that I would not stop to help if I saw them broken down on the side of the road (and I knew what they looked like). Pretty sure that could be said for everyone here.

I know you think that this is some big realization, man, but we all had it like 5 years ago.

Singular nouns, even when they end in s, get an apostrophe s to make them possessive in English. That is how it is. You do not get to ignore this in your business report because you think that rule is stupid. I don't care if it looks funny to you, that's how it works (for this type of writing, we do not play fast and loose with grammar for self-expression, it's just not done). This is for public consumption, not internal, and that's why I'm editing it in the first place.

ETA: Telling me you aren't going to change it doesn't work either, because it goes through me to get to the publisher and I will not send on anything like that. That would be on me, and nope.

I feel so much better about the poll today than I did yesterday; it still makes me a little sad, but I'm not quite so shocked as I was.

@Ghost

Nobody is on fire or being murdered over there, it's okay. We're all still getting along, we're just getting along very loudly.

Sorry folks, apparently my tongue was not quite firmly enough in my cheek for my commentary.

@Derp said in Our Tendency Towards Absolutes:

Negative consequences for failures to act should be a thing too.

I'll never play a game ever again that does this. Ever. This turns playing into a chore. Nope!

I just replaced a stupid critical element on my job eval with one that includes the words 'project management' and it feels as good as the raise it's probably going to get me.

@faraday said in Poll: Do I enjoy this hobby more than I don't?:

We are not a huge community to begin with.

I understand and acknowledge your perspective and your lived experience as being different from mine. Please understand that mine is actually different than yours. In my own personal, anecdotal experience, there are thousands of people actually playing these games, and people regularly underestimate how big the population is by a huge amount. If you spend ten minutes on the mudconnector forums, you will see a way bigger population. Yes, many of them are mud/RPI players, but mushers actually are in there too, mixed in with the rest of them. Have you ever checked out the reddit subthreads relating to the hobby? There's a ton of people, and very few of them are here.

Mushes aimed at the MSB/WORA/whatever audience are of course going to be full of MSB players? Games advertised here are of course going to have players from here. If you're not aware of the other communities and not advertising to them / trying to pull their players in? Of course it's going to be the same names you're familiar with seeing.

why is EVERYTHING so hard right now? literally everything. getting a cup of tea is a mountain I'm not sure I have the energy to climb. stupid.

eta: what's NOT hard? complaining about it, lol.

Part of being better is recognition of past errors and how they harmed people, which is often coupled with 'leave them alone'.

just leaving this here for people, no reason

@Lotherio said in How to Escape the OOC Game:

@surreality said in How to Escape the OOC Game:

Please note: I am not saying this is 'nothing' or 'not important'. If this happens, report that shit! It is a completely valid issue.

Just want to repeat this. Report it RL if you're able, but report it on game to staff.

If staff can't help or try, probably not a game for you. But it is disheartening to learn after the fact, as staff, a creeper has come onto your game and gotten away with stuff that has driven good players off.

This.

Every game my big thing happened on, as soon as it was confirmed, it was dealt with. Immediately. Then for a while I was frontloading staff with the info when I played, and these days it hasn't happened in so long it might not any more. But I have never had a staff member on any game ever when I explained what was going on NOT take immediate action to help.

So I really urge people to give the staff on the games the benefit of the doubt in situations where it's baaaaad, because you might think it sounds insane but really people if they are making a game 99.99999999999999999999999999999999% do just want to be your hero for stuff. Whoever 'you' are.

@silverfox

Echoing what other folks have said, but my first thought, too? "Only a grade behind? seriously? you're doing SO GOOD" -- from what I'm hearing (anecdotal only) from People, there are a lot of children that are essentially going fully feral right now. Your kiddos are doing well enough that you were actually like, capable of testing them? I'm impressed! Another teacher friend had a similar complaint about their testing of kids except hers was "I can't even get them to do it!!!"

eta: which isn't meant to imply that you don't have a reason to be stressed. of course you do, and it's very reasonable, but it is LIKELY that you are being way worse on yourself than the situation calls for.

I am 100% in agreement that it would not / should not directly translate. I think the conversation is worth having, though. Thanks for the opinions / perspectives so far, folks! I find it a really interesting topic, especially to see where other people stand with comfort levels.

The member of the mush community known as Saffron has passed away. There's a zoom memorial happening on January 10th; please DM if you'd like connection info for it, I don't really want to throw it out in these waters. I don't have details except that it wasn't COVID, and I don't want to talk about it. I do know people around here besides me knew her and probably want to come.

We DON'T have a unified culture or set of expectations; they differ heavily from one game to another. OOC chat amounts, who to acknowledge in poses, pose order (or lack thereof), length of poses, public scenes, pose in or rely on the room message...I could go on, and on, and on, and on. Navigating these things is ROUGH for new people, especially if they come in to 'mushing' and not a specific game with specific people helping them with the culture of THAT GAME. Transitioning to a new game the first time has got to be awful, it really does.

Denying someone's shared experience because it 'shouldn't' be like that isn't helpful.

@ganymede

This situation bothers me from the perspective of what happened when a rapist was being lionized here after his death. A lot. I am feeling particularly bothered by how this is allowed, and how talking about the rapist being a rapist was not.

eta: like I hope this guy gets whatever he deserves in the afterlife, but I am really bothered about the difference in what's allowed and not.

eta2: like, what level of badness means that it's OK to be happy he's dead in-thread? rape clearly doesn't count, so where's the line?

@faraday said in Consent in Gaming:

@Sunny said in Consent in Gaming:

I do not understand. Why would it lower your opinion of them?

I probably spoke too broadly. I can imagine certain types of humiliating punishments being triggering to some folks - e.g. Cersei's "walk of shame" in GoT.

But setting those situations aside and looking at the more general case, it strikes me as poor sportsmanship to use the FTB clause solely to avoid scenes that make your character look bad. It suggests an unhealthy level of either character bleed (I'm gonna take IC punishments too much to heart), competitiveness (I can't let you get one over on me!) or selfishness (I'm really just here to look awesome, so no I don't want to play that.)

Okay, with more elaboration, I definitely disagree. I can see your perspective, but I don't think there's a problem with somebody opting out of something even if it's just 'that's not fun for me' as a reason. I don't see it as poor sportsmanship or bad play or anything, because in my opinion, the consequences are for the character, not the player. As long as the consequences happen, in my opinion and preferences there isn't a problem with it (but I recognize that other people feel differently).

In my opinion, a 2 hour scene in which my character is yelled at by their IC commander for an action they took is going to be boring for me -- at best. I have better things to do with my time. I'm OK with that calling down a judgment on me as a player from some directions, it just means I wouldn't play with those folks.

ETA: A lot of STUFF happens off-screen on these games. We don't RP out even remotely most of our characters' lives. I do not agree that 'my character is yelled at' has to be something we roleplay out when it's only going to be fun for half of the people involved.