Best posts made by Sunny

@Rucket

Thanks for that.

Staff can, and always have been able to. I do applaud their willingness to state they will be doing so up front, and what parameters they will be doing so under, so that those who do not feel comfortable playing under those parameters (me) will not go into an uncomfortable situation/something won't jump out and be a surprise. It's a good thing.

@mietze

I am so sorry.

I mean, there is a difference between high standards and unrealistic expectations, and I find that people with the latter usually think they have the former. But if they're happy with what they get out of the hobby it's entirely fine. I only start rolling my eyes when they start preaching like they're being reasonable instead of completely insufferable.

ETA: I do wish they would discover the joys of OTT with the others of their kind and stop trying to play with us plebs. Literally everyone would be happier.

It has been really hard to limit my online commitments to a reasonable level and how much I'm doing in general, especially as I started to finally, finally feel better. I started to bite off a little more, but stayed careful. It's good, because I basically just relapsed. ugh.

On the bright side, I now have a cardiologist who is willing to say "I don't know, but I'll find out" instead of blowing smoke up my ass. It's actually comforting. I know that none of them know, thanks, I wish that previous doctors weren't so scared of looking foolish that they couldn't admit it enough to help me.

The only time I really see a consistent use of 'competition' in the hobby in terms of these games is in problematic game runners. It's used as an excuse as to why their game is failing (this came up often with Serenity games), or when they are trying to ensure they are the only game in town (literally, in terms of Game of Thrones). It's an excuse bad game leadership makes when their game cannot stand on its own merits, and they need something to blame for their failure that isn't them.

Two games in the same genre aren't competition. People play multiple games, and someone's interest/investment in one can actually charge their batteries up to play on more. I guess maybe it's counter-intuitive, here -- the more fun people are having, the more fun they are likely to spread? So more than one game within a genre is absolutely, 100%, a positive gain for the other games within the genre.

There has not been a day this week that I have not been to the doctor, lab, or radiology. Yes, including today, and both days last weekend, too. I have somehow managed to beg enough to not go go the hospital (observation, it never helps, they never observe what they hope to).

I fucking hate this.

Imagination is a lot more fun than most things.

@Wretched said in The ADD/ADHD Thread (cont'd from Peeves):

https://www.additudemag.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/01/10252_Understand-Conditions_secrets-of-the-adhd-brain.pdf

I read this. Thank you.

(He's right peeps, read it. Fascinating, helpful, and it even provides at least one coping strategy that never bloody occurred to ME, at least... also, it's only 16 pages.)

ETA: I really like this because everything else aside, it provides some language that could be helpful in talking to doctors / bosses / other people about what folks are experiencing. Shared language is SO important for getting heard.

@mietze said in A bit of trouble on Firefly:

@WildBaboons how could a guy that had harassment orders against him be "mostly harmless?"

It doesn’t count until he kills someone. My ex was charged with 11 violations of the protection order (charged, there were many more but those had solid proof no kidding) and I got shat on for causing drama in our friend group.

My first 'full' week back at work (my schedule is still modified but w/e), and word is getting out that I am back. I have had a steady stream of people coming to me with their tech issues that they have been saving up patiently. I love my job lol. I am very gentle with my helping, so people tend to want me to help them. It makes me feel appreciated.

The thing is, there is likely no conscious logic involved in this sort of behavior. You can’t suss it out because it doesn’t make sense, period. Pinning motivation to it makes you feel better, makes it easier to process, but at the end of the day it isn’t normal, logical behavior and trying to apply healthy brain logic to it doesn’t work any more than it does trying to ascribe human logic to a fish. He is ill, his brain doesn’t work right. Take the steps needed to protect yourself and the community, but don’t try too hard to explain what can’t be explained.

@Auspice

I really wish that wasn't accurate.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifting-the-veil-trauma/202003/trauma-pandemic-proportions

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/free-range-psychology/202003/the-psychological-impact-covid-19

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/coronavirus/in-depth/mental-health-covid-19/art-20482731

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/free-range-psychology/202003/the-psychological-impact-covid-19

Some reading.

ETA: This trauma is very, very, very real. If the worst physical pain you have ever felt in your life is a hangnail, your brain interprets it as VERY BAD OH GOD THIS IS TERRIBLE. This is literally how human brains work.

@Xetetic

Yeah, I get it? But the point of bringing old friends in is to have a security blanket while you make new friends, not to have them occupy the entirety of your time. Intending to occupy your time with just old friends completely defeats the purpose of bringing them in in the first place. So maybe answer that question with 'Meet new people and expand our social circle so we all have more fun down the road'.

ETA: My suggestions are to be taken as training wheels for when you're coming in flat cold. They're a temporary measure, something to keep you connected to Somebody while you do the work (yes, it's work) of entrenching yourself / making new friends. If someone is helping you with this work (even just by being there to chat so you don't feel completely isolated), it's easier work to do. Once you've established yourself on any given game, you won't need any of these tricks -- you'll have people to play with, and will be able to get started.

@Goblin

I swear, with the world being as it is right now, it is really nice to read about someone in a potentially scary situation (job change) who is comfortable and doing well. Thank you for sharing. Yay!

Is there something about our playspaces that makes this a predominately white hobby? What can we do about that? Because I think it'd be more effective to work towards making the hobby itself more diverse, rather than just encouraging whitey to play POC. So what can we do?

ETA: I think games like Arx where racism is not just not included, but strictly written out are a good step, because it offers some escapism from that? But I don't know if that's ACTUALLY helpful, or if it ends up actually being hurtful instead. I don't know, in the gaming context. I don't know how we can make these spaces better / more appealing for folks.

Politics thread!

I mean, I honestly don't mush for the challenge of it. Difficulty/challenge/work are just not things I want to do. Sometimes they're required to get to the good stuff, but I want this fun to be (relatively) easy for me, because everything else in my world is so damn hard.

ETA: When I want a challenge, my go-to is challenges that involve SKILL and objective success/failure metrics. Not my collaborative hobby. Not roleplay. If I have to work to portray a character, I'm at least halfway out the door already.